Listening To: Hormonally Yours : Shakespeare’s Sister

Talk about a busy week y’all ! :)
Met a very groovy chick last night. Absolutely frikkin gorgeous! latina by the name of Lisa. Not that my night actually started all that fantastically mind you. Disappearing Boy was actually supposed to meet someone else at THS, so was waiting there at the appointed hour. Now I’d only seen one photo of my intended date online … and it wasn’t exactly the best pic either, so I wasn’t expecting to be ‘overwhelmed’ really.

So I’m waiting, waiting, doo di doo, when I spot this skanky looking chick doing the whole ‘checking out people at the steps to try and see if I recognise my date’ thing. She doesn’t look ANYTHING like the photo, but I don’t see anyone else around resembling my intended date. I wait a few more beats, still no-one resembling MY date, and skanky grrl is still looking for HERS. “F*ck bro, I sooo hope that’s not her” I mutter under my breath, loud enough for anyone near me to hear but hopefully not so loud SHE will hear me, before clearing my throat and addressing the skank.

“Tara ?” I get no response. A little bit louder this time - “Hey !” she looks at me “Are you Tara ? I’m Pete ….” Skanky grrl shakes her head and starts to back away a little … obviously thinking “ah fŨck … another Town Hall nutter !”

That’s when the girl standing next to me, who I hadn’t noticed except in peripheral vision, starts cracking up. I look over … “aaaah” … I AM overwhelmed … instantly … because she looks fan-bloody-tastic, and her photo doesn’t do her justice at all ! “Tara ?” “No … Lisa …” “Oh dear …”

After she finally stops laughing, and after a bit of awkward conversation and stammering on my part, it transpires that no - this girl is indeed not my intended date either. She’s waiting for a friend, and I’m still waiting for my ‘net-date to show. Damn, damn, damn ! Compared to the girl I’m talking to, my date is sure to be a disappointment. We chat for a bit longer about this and that, and as always being in close proximity to someone this gorgeous is shutting down half of my brain cells. Finally I spot someone who looks like the eponimous Tara, only 20 pounds heavier, crossing the road. “Shit … I think that’s my date”, I tell the lovely Lisa. “Good luck !” she replies with a smile and a wink, and moves discretely away.

Tara comes up to me, we do the introductions etc. and head off for coffee at Cube. I’m thinking of the only two other dates I’ve been on at Cube. One was awkward … so I knew pretty much straight away I wasn’t seeing that one again. At the time I’d thought the other went well … but alas the girl in question had nixed any further meetings. So I haven’t had the best track record at Cube so far, and I’m already thinking this one isn’t going to lead anywhere either.

Naturally, I turn out to be right. Talking to Tara for half an hour confirms what my eyes told me in the first five seconds I saw her - i.e. I don’t want to meet up with her again. Not only is she twenty pounds heavier than her photo (”oh yeah, that picture on my profile is about 3 years old”), but we don’t have much in common, and she seems like another one of those online ’serial daters’. “FŨck that !” I think to myself, and after we finish our coffees I wind the date up as quickly as I can.

I bid Tara “goodnight & good luck !” back at Town Hall steps, and wonder what to do with myself next. Fekkit … dismal date … I feel like a beer or three. So I decide to head to CBD hotel for a bit. Get there and get myself a schooner of Carlton at the bar, before having a look around. Fuchs me ! Who do I spot sitting at a corner table but the gorgeous girl I’d met earlier at the steps ! She’s chatting to some tall, dorky looking, slightly dishevelled looking yuppie who appears to be hitting on her pretty strongly. Must be the ‘friend’ she was meeting earlier. Sheeeeit ! So I sip my beer for a bit, but the bar area is getting pretty crowded and I see a free table near to the one Lisa and her bloke are sitting at. I decide to head over to the free table.

Lisa spots me making my way over to the free table, and gives me a strange look. It’s as if she’s thinking “thank god you’re here”. I stop, and she turns to the guy she’s with. “So this is the boyfriend I was telling you about - this is Pete” she tells him. “Ahhhh …” I’m a bit confused. Lisa turns back to me - “This is Brad” she says, “and he’s leaving”, looking at him pointedly. Only he doesn’t leave straight away. “Ah … ok … yeah … you know you’re gorgeous (he says to her), and yeah .. mate … I’m not gay … but … you’re a good lookin sort too. You know … you guys are a great lookin couple. You guys are gonna have beautiful children. You go for it guys ! You have a great night !” is the monologue of shit he spins :) Then he gets up and pulls out the seat ostensibly for me, and stumbles off in the direction of the bar. I sit down, and look at Lisa quizically. She tells me the guy is a real estate agent who’s been tyring to hit on her for the last 15 minutes, and thanks me for ‘going with the flow’ and giving her an ‘out’ of that conversation. She also assures me she’s actually single. We both laugh at Brads drunken pick-up attempts, and smile at eachother. *Poww* … instant bonding !

I ask her what happened to the friend she was waiting at THS for - stood up, apparently. I order a glass of white for her, and another beer for me, and it seems like she starts to really relax. The beer seems to losen my brain-lock too, and the conversation really starts flowing at this point. We talk about all sorts of shit - from football to pop-culture, our jobs, music, my dismal date at Cube etc etc etc. It’s the kind of conversation I wish I could have on all my dodgey ‘net dates, but rarely do.

Thankgod for alcohol ;P

We finally end up leaving the pub … to find a taxi for her and get me to the train station. Walking along she reaches for my arm, and it comes up automatically, like the most natural thing in the world. Total Jane Austen moment ! Find a taxi a little further down the street, she gives me a quick hug and we exchange pecks on the cheek … and then she completely floors me. “Would you like to do this again ?” asks Lisa.

Oh my god ! This is the first time I’ve been out with a girl in sod knows how long (since I guess somewhere along the line the night metamorphosed into a ‘date’ with her at the pub) where the girl has popped that question before I did …

Needless to say, after recovering from the pleasant shock, I manage to stammer out “Y.. yeah .. for suuuure !”. She gives me her number, and smiles. “Cool”. Exit Lisa stage left.

So …. I really, REALLY hope this isn’t going to be another one of those “I though the night went well, but she had a different impression” deals !!!

Disappearing Boy go now … need to look busy at work hehe