Listening To: More Korean Babble : Thx 2 Another ‘Net Cafe

You know, I’ve been in a few relationships in my time now, and looking back over them compared to my current situation, I think I’ve wound up in circumstances I haven’t encountered before. Shall I share what those circumstances are ? Yeah, why not eh ? :)
I know that, to various degrees, the majority of my previous partners did have feelings for me, in their own way. But I think it’s safe to say, especially for those familiar with my relationship history, that I’ve never had unconditional love and respect from my partners up to now. Whether it was to be more ‘artistic’, more ’sensitive’, more ‘romantic’, more ‘in your face’ (read fŨcked up), more ‘corporate’ and a host of other ‘mores’, everyone I’ve previously been involved with has, on a fundamental level, wanted something from me, and wanted me to be something and someone that I wasn’t, or to become that person with time. Yes, even you Meerkat, so don’t argue this one …

In most cases I tried to be that person for a while … especially with the last one, for whom I tried virtually everything to become the man she wanted me to be. Ultimately though I failed in all the abovementioned cases - because you can’t go into a relationship expecting your partner to change, and to be someone they’re not just to fit the template in your head of your ‘ideal mate’.

So how does my current situation differ ? Well, I think it’s safe to say (and *do* correct me if I’m wrong IG) I’ve finally found that elusive ideal we all crave … the partner who loves me for who I am, not a make-believe image she has in her head. I know, I know - our regular readers will probably see this as a sign she’s slightly demented … but I don’t think she is ! I think she’s just a really wonderful woman, with more patience & understanding than most, a fun-loving streak and a lust for life which matches my own. All of which, funnily enough … makes me want to ‘impress’ her all the more, and to make her proud of me.

Maybe it’s the fact that, without a doubt, my partner is the kinda gal who really could get any guy she wanted. The kinda well connected thoroughbred who has relatives trying to set her up with Tom Long fer chrissakes ! Or maybe it’s just because I do find her so (sickiningly to everyone else I’m sure, but phark-U, this is my blog *lol*) fantastic … and find that, in comparison, I could and should try to be an even better ‘catch’ for her.

One things for sure … I know she’s gonna say she’s proud and happy to be with me already - but that’s the funny thing I’ve discovered about unconditional love. Find it, and you suddenly don’t need anyone telling to to do ‘better’ and be ‘more’ of anything … because you’re already gonna drive yourself harder to justify your partners belief in you.

Hats off IG - thanks for a great weekend babe, me love you long time ;P