The Rest of Your Life (v3.0)

Listening To: Best of British Anthems : V/A (Alistair Whitehead Mix)

Current Horn Factor :

In a new, possibly semi-regular service for TROYL readers, here’s a quick peek into some recent stories from the entertainment world that caught my eye -

What Is It With Burgers & Clowns ?

Reuters reports that in a cease-and-desist letter sent by its attorney Howard Weitzman to the Burger King fastfood franchise and its advertising agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky on August the 4th, heavy-metal arse clowns Slipknot have declared their intent to sue the restaurant chain over its latest advertising campaign for Chicken Fries. The commercials feature a parody metal-band amusingly named “Coq Roq“, which the musicians claim bears a striking visual & sonic resemblance to their own patented blend of gothic shock-metal.

Which is the ‘real’ band, and which is the parody ?

If the matter does go to court and the band actually wins a settlement, one can only assume other metal acts will follow and we’re likely to see bands like Ministry suing cereal manufacturer Kelloggs for using heavy guitar riffs in its series of Australian “Nutri-Grain” commercials which bear a suspicious resemblance to material from the bands seminal “Psalm-69″ album. Chicago-based industrial duo Velvet Acid Christ would also like to sue somebody, but so far haven’t found anyone who would actually listen to their music, let alone use it in an FMCG commercial.

All in all its no laughing matter; whatever the outcome, someone is going to end up with yolk on their faces.

Presumably laced with high levels of toxic heavy metals.

Is The ‘Bedroom Raider’ Headed For A Breakdown ?

In the latest issue of Australian NW magazine it’s alleged Angelina Jolie, she-of-the-botox-competing-lips-and-adopted-Ethopian-kids, is on the verge of a ‘breakdown’ over the current widespread perception she’s a “man-stealer” who broke up the marriage of the Pitts. Which makes a nice change really from the usual line of Jen sympathy doing the rounds of the tabloids for the last few months.

The magazine also claims the elder Pitts recently flew out to visit ‘Jen’ on the set of her new film, with the Bradsters mum “begging” Aniston to try for a reconciliation with their son. Two words for you, OK guys ? “Interfering in-laws” ! C’mon, do you really think visiting your sons ex-wife at work and harrassing her to give the jerk another chance is gonna work ?

You don’t need Brad baby … pick IG and me instead !

Personally, I don’t see what the problem is. Everyone involved has six figure bank accounts, Jen has supposedly “found love again” in the arms of Vince Vaughn, and if Angelina is happy to be involved with a guy who is on public record as stating he expects his wife to pop out six kids and give up her career if needs be – then wassaproblem ? Alternatively, Le Jolie is always welcome to leave Hollywood behind and have a torrid lesbian fling with my fiancé Lisa – as long as I get to take the photos