Listening To: Goodbye Country, Hello Nightclub : Groove Armada

Current Horn Factor :

Horn Factor = Me STILL so hoooorney, me love you long time !

So I’ve mentioned previously the pressure to look good, now that I’m living in Bondi – Sydney’s epicentre for well tanned, superbly muscled surfer dudes. In a serious bid to start trying to get back in shape, I went and bought myself a new bicycle a few weeks ago. Check it out -

Pimp My Ride

Isn’t is sweeeet ? Shopping around online, I managed to pick up the sexy bit of engineering you see above brand new for less than I paid two or three years ago for a second-hand bike with fůcked up gears and dodgey brakes. To date my riding is going well, and despite not being a morning person I’m actually managing to get up at 6am and go for a ride most mornings. On the weekend I also managed to finally motivate myself to pick up the free-weights again after going for an extended ride, and topped that all off with a bit of session using our flatmates punching bag. Buffness here we come ;-)

Now that the weather is getting warmer, IG and I have also been going to the beach most weekends. We had a lovely picnic the other day at Coogee, overlooking the beach and the headland, complete with good wine, an assortment of great cheeses and stellar conversation as usual. “Choice bro” as the Kiwis would say :-) One thing that I’m finding a bit perplexing at the moment though is the thong situation …

Basically, I need a new pair of thongs to wear to the beach. Now for our American readers, I’m not referring to the item of female underwear we here in Australia call a “G-String”. I am of course talking about the quintessential piece of antipodean footwear which I believe you call “sandals”, and the Brits designate “flip-flops”. What I want is a cheap, nasty, generic $2 pair of paper-thin rubber-soled ‘double pluggers’ made in China, Vietnam or an equivelant third-world country which I can pick up at my local thrift store. Surely not too much to ask, is it ?

Last time I purchased a pair of said no-name thongs for the princely sum of $2 was a few years ago in Parramatta. For those unfamiliar with Sydney’s geography, let me tell you Parramatta is an inland suburb in Western Sydney which is nowhere NEAR a frikkin beach nor any similar body of water. Sure … you can go to Parramatta Lakes … but this in the middle of bush reserve where one of my highschool friends once almost stepped on a red-bellied black-snake but for my quick reflexes. Not exactly thong-friendly.

I’m telling you this because I niavely assumed that living in Bondi, finding a similar pair of thongs at my local discount store wouldn’t be a problem. How wrong I was ! Logic of course would tell you that if you can buy cheap, nasty thongs at a cheap, nasty store nowhere near the beach, finding an equivelant pair in an equivelant store in Bondi would be a breeze. Nyet, nyet, nyet ! I’ve been to every bargain and convenience store in the Bondi Junction mall strip, and a fair few down at the beach, along with most of the beach front souvenier stores. Most of them simply don’t have thongs at all … the few that do have hideous patterned ones obviously aimed mostly at the female market and costing at least $6.95

I could of course duck into any of numerous surf-wear shops and pay $15-30 for a pair of suitably branded ‘designer thongs’ … but who in their right mind would do that, except a tourist or a tragic fashion victim ? We’re talking thongs people, not fØcking Manolo Blahnik stillettos …

so why the F#^R&*#$ can’t I find a cheap, ordinary, no-frills pair ‘o thongs within a 20km radius of the sodding beach ?

Tell me that, coz I wanna know ! Gaaaaaaaaah !

Thongs Update: (13/10/05) OK, so I caved and got meself a pair of thongs from Target (our equivelant of Wall-Mart) for $6 a pair. Granted, they might be better than the $2 pair I got last time … the sole is about as thick as my pinkie finger, as opposed to being the thickness of a (jamless) pikelet. But it’s the whole question of principle … I shouldn’t have to pay six dollars for a pair of measly blue and white, basic flip flops. Oh yeah … and the Target I got them from is @ Macquarie Centre, just near my work. Which … surprise, surprise … is nowhere near the fekking beach again !