So … just read this over @ the SMH – “Between 3pm and 7.30pm today, there will be 92 motorcade movements around the city”.

Yeah … great … as if we Sydney-siders weren’t incovenienced enough already, with a FUCKING 5 KILOMETER STEEL FENCE AROUND THE CBD, crowds of renta-goons and uniformed police hanging around like a bad smell and frisking all and sundry (including the hilarious Steph over at Much Ado‘) as potential terrorists, the daily noise of helicopters & jets overhead, bus route disruptions, road closures, and ‘special clearways’ UP TO 11 KILOMETRES AWAY FROM THE FUCKING APEC SUMMIT SITE !!!

Who was the ABSOLUTE SODDING MORON that pitched for this thing to happen in Sydney anyway ? Was it Iemma, or did this come as an edict from Johnny up on high (given that APEC is after all a FEDERAL summit, not something that the State governments are involved in) ? I don’t see the benefit to NSW (and especially Sydney) myself, sorry.

The IDEAL place to have had this summit, in my oh-so-learned view, would have been Canberra. It’s a federal summit, so have it in the federal capital, right ? No real people live in Canberra (hehe sorry, but it had to be said), it’s the heart of the beaurocracy, so why the hell didn’t they hold it there ? Oh … right … Johnnie wouldn’t have been able to take Dubya to lunch at Bondi Icebergs on the Sunday then.

See, that’s something else that gets my goat. You want to block off the CBD so you can play ‘world politics’ with your mates ? Fine. You want to make it virtually impossible for Sydney-siders & tourists to enjoy famous Sydney areas like the Opera House, The Rocks, Circular Quay etc ? Fine. BUT STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE SUBURBS, YOU GREEDY BASTARDS !!!

Here’s a little snippet from the ‘Bondi Bulletin’ of the APEC site -

“If you are having guests to your home to watch the ‘Festival of the Winds’, please let them know in advance that they will not be able to park at your home and to consider public transport. You will need to escort your guests to your home and vouch for your guest. Residents will be asked to provide identification.”

I’m sorry, we don’t (yet) live in a police state (or so you would have thought) … why the hell should Bondi Beach residents be forced to sodding ‘escort’ & ‘vouch for’ their guests, and provide resident identification, all so some fat fucking politicians wives + Dubya can have lunch at Bondi Icebergs ?

The other alternative to Canberra, if we had to have this shit in NSW, would have been to hold the APEC summit at some picturesque country location, like the Hunter Valley or Port Stephens. Book out all the hotels in Newcastle, plus all the actual Wine Estate accommodation in Pokolbin for a week, and you’d think you’d be right.

Now my mate G, who’s actually one of the boys in blue (and therefore working this weekend, unlike most of the rest of Sydney), reckons that the reason this had to be held in our town was because with all the delegates, their individual security teams, and various hangers on, the summit will actually have 15,000 attendees. Firstly, to me that sounds like an implausibly huge number.

15 HUNDRED I could easily buy, but 15 THOUSAND ? WTF ? Have we got the entire population of Nauru turning to APEC or something ? People, if we have 15,000 fuckers turning up to go to this thing, then there is something seriously wrong here. GET RID OF THE HANGERS ON, YOU DICKHEADS ! If we had 1,500 instead of 15,000 of the ‘Dubya & Friends’ fucktards to deal with, we could EASILY have fitted them all in to some suitably picturesque (and more importantly, out of the way) regional centre, instead of having to bring the centre of Sydney to a virtual standstill.

Anyhow, things being what they are, *I* am getting the hell out of Sydney this weekend instead, and taking my lovely wifey to the Hunter Valley again. So nyer, nyer, APEC fuckers … while you’re blocking off the centre of my town, and copping (rightly deserved) demonstrations and general angst from the people of Sydney, I’LL be eating cheeses, drinking wine, and shagging in a ‘picturesque regional centre’. To think y’all could have been there instead of us … and then everyone would have been happy !

Just a tip for next time, if you’re reading this Morris ;)