The Rest of Your Life (v4)

Listening To: WWIII : KMFDM

Current Horn Factor :

Allright gang, so I admit the posts this week have been pretty ‘dark’. In an attempt to lighten the mood somewhat for this luvverly Friday (IG gets back tommorrow morning ‘n I get to speak to her tonight … yaaaaay !) I’m going to steal a meme from Mark and enlighten you all with an insight into exactly what some of the influences on DB’s horn-factor scale are …

10 Things that Turn DB On

1. Intelligence.

This doesn’t necessarily mean having a uni degree, although I used to think it did. Street-smarts, the ability to string together coherent sentences, the capacity to think beyond the day-to-day mundanities of job, car & what’s playing on tele tonight; all of these are big turn-ons. Also, she HAS to be a reader. Sorry Victoria Beckham, but I guess this means you and I were never meant to be.

2. Beauty.

Any man who claims good looks aren’t in his Top 10 list of turn-ons is a liar. Not that looks by themselves cut it, but a woman who (a) looks good (b) takes care of her looks and (c) isn’t afraid to make the most of what she’s got – that kind of woman definitely has sexiness-potential !

3. Fashion Sense

A thorough indoctrination in feminist epistemologies meant that for years after graduating I used to vehemently deny the horn-influence a “less is more” attitude can play, whilst secretly wishing my partners would bare more flesh to the world ! I wouldn’t make that mistake anymore – but luckily for moi, IG is not averse to wearing the odd backless top or short skirt on occassion so I’m more than happy ! I’m also a fan of the ‘corporate’ look … and this too, as luck would have it, my fiancé carries off extremely well.

4. Sexy shoes.

Forget women who only ever wear ‘comfortable’, ‘sensible’ and ‘practical’ shoes ! I don’t need that shit in my life. Sure – this probably means I have a mild foot-fetish, but then so do a hell of a lot of guys ! What’s wrong with finding a sexy pair of heels or platforms, red nailpolish and a toe-ring on a shapely pair of peds attractive ? Exactly – absolutely nothing !

5. Positivity.

I don’t mean being happy all the time. People who are happy all the time are fûcking idiots and/or on Prozac. However, any woman who can maintain a positive attitude for the majority of the time and get through the down times without giving in too much to the drama-queen instinct is damned sexy.

6. Life Direction.

Got a job ? Got life-goals, and at least some idea of how you want to get there ? Got a work ethic, without being a total workaholic ? Good … if not, talk to the hand …

7. Good taste in music.

She doesn’t have to like all the same bands as me – in fact difference is encouraged, because it means we can build up eachothers mutual record collections. However, if she’s not into music at all or I can’t stand anything she plays on the car stereo – then Huston, we have a problem …

8. Sense of Fun & Spontanaity.

. . . because it’s damn sexy to be with someone who will say “fuckit, let’s go to the beach !” on Saturday morning when you were expecting to spend the day doing laundry instead ! Sure; a sense of responsibility and purpose is definitely important too, but balancing it with a certain devil-may-care sensibility is essential for tipping the horn-factor towards the higher end of the scale.

9. Creativity.

Think outside the square, have a creative streak in you, and I’ll be bound to try grope you if all the other factors come together ;P

10. Self Confidence.

I’m not talking about being so smug and up yourself that you put Real Estate agents to shame. However, a certain level of self-assurance is assuredly beguiling. As long as you’re comfortable in your own skin and happy with who you are without being a pratt, you can indeed be a bit of ‘all that’.

11. Sense of Humour.

OK … so I cheated … it’s eleven things. However, I think possesing a certain level of wit and the ability to not take yourself or life too seriously are also imperative for rockin’ my world. Grumpy bums – sorry, but you don’t do it for me. If you can find my mildy amusing, mostly self deprecating, cynical shit funny .. that’s a big bonus too !

10 Things that Turn DB Off

1. Racism & Xenophobia.

Especially if taken to extremes.

2. Ignorance.

Coz dumb is NOT sexy, and bimbos don’t get MY motor running.

3. Emotional Instability.

Supporting your partner when they need it is one thing. Being a perrenial emotional crutch is quiet another. Get some therapy, and stay the fǔck out of my way.

4. Infidelity.

Coz if you want “the package”, you can’t have your cake and eat it too ! I believe in being faithful to my partner, and I expect nothing less in return.

5. Liberal voters.

… because I definitely don’t need that shit in my life either !

6. Negativity.

Been there, done that. As Denis Leary says “Hey … life sucks … get a fǘcking helmet !”

7. Rampant drug abuse.

I agree with Mark on this one. Drinking is fine … but anything else when you get past your late teens / early twenties – nah screw that, I’m over passing the dutchy on the left-hand side. If you smoke a little weed now and then and everything else clicks I might let it pass with the occasional grumble. But if you’re on first names with your dealer (and by ‘dealer’ I don’t mean the guy at highschool who used to sell to everyone else … I was THAT guy … I mean a grown adult who makes their living distributing narcotics) … sorry, I don’t think we can bump uglies.

8. Laziness.

Think Vesna from BB05. Not sexy, not sexy at all !

9. Excessive body fat.

Sorry, but I ain’t a chubby-chaser and never shall be …

10. Anal Sex / Golden Showers / Scat / Fisting / Object Insertions

“Oh shit, is it that late already ? I’m sorry baby … I gotta go … I’ve got an early start in the morning. Yeah … look … don’t call me, OK ? Like I mean … don’t call me EVER !”

Thas it y’all – have a great weekend, won’t you

Listening To: Clawfinger : Zeros & Heroes

Current Horn Factor :

All immediate family members have now been duly informed, and much to the relief of Lisa & I there’s no danger of freakout. So I can now OFFICIALLY (because nothings ‘real’ until it’s on your blog … right kids ? hehehe) confirm the brief mentions that we’ve been spreading in all your comment fields for over a month now. Namely – sometime in the next year or two my wonderful partner and I are set to walk down the aisle and become The Imaginary Disappearing Boy & Girl ! Woooooo !!! 😀 😀 😀

Summer Bay barbies stick that in your hats and smoke it ! 😉

So how did all this come about ?, I hear you ask. Well … ever the unconventional one, it was actually IG who popped the question first, way back in late April after we had only been involved for a few months and she had come back from Spain. It was a very pleasant surprise, but also a bit of a shock at the same time. I definitely wasn’t ready for such a serious step at the time – so it was with some regret I had to tell her as much, and risk breaking her heart in the process. Very luckily for me she took this knockback in her stride, and I guess it was then that I really started to examine my own feelings and seriously ponder the prospect for the next few months.

By the time May rolled around I’d done some serious soul searching in my private moments, and realised that if I was ever going to marry anyone, Lisa was definitely “the one” I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Believe me, the decision wasn’t that hard ! So I put a deposit down on a ring, and started planning for my own romantic proposal. With one payslip left to go before the ring was mine towards the end of June however, my best friend’s partner Anton threw a small spanner in the works by weighing in with his own marriage proposal to the friend in question (Mellipop) .

Thus the small circle of blogs we all travel in suddenly exploded with talk of Mellipops nuptials, and further shocks followed as a number of IG’s friends also picked that week to propose to their significant others. Chaos gang, pure chaos ! Here I was trying to surprise my baby with a romantic dinner and a ring I’d been saving for quiet some time for, yet here she was feeling like the world’s last spinster because it seemed to her as if I was the only guy she knew who wasn’t thinking about marriage.

For a few days there I was paralysed by indecision – should I wait another fortnight till my next pay came through and I could follow through on my original plan of getting down on bended knee before IG in the restaurant she’d originally asked me to marry her complete with shiny new ring, or should I spare her the pain of feeling like Bridget Jones for a while longer and just pop the question now sans nuptial-bling ? In the end the latter won out, and I proposed to my wonderful fiancé in a park by the water at Blues Point, complete with the Harbour Bridge and Opera House as a backdrop. I had a moment of breathless anticipation wondering if perhaps she hadn’t changed her mind in the intervening months between her proposal and mine – and she drew it out a little bit with a joke “maybe I should say what you said to me when I asked you” …

Luckily though friends and fans – after a few moments of leaving me wondering whether I hadn’t perhaps fÇ”cked up by not jumping in with both feet first time round, the wonderful IG answered my question with a smile and a “yes” ! 😀

So yep … this gang, is where it REALLY begins … The Rest of Your (My) Life !!!

Rock on !

Listening To: My own footsteps : Heading out the door !

So just a few quick questions I’m going to leave you all to ponder over the weekend as I jet the duck out of work on this Friday evening …

Am I weird because at the ripe old age of 28, and with a steady girlfriend I absolutely adore, I still wanna go out and get trashed and party at clubs, instead of ‘settling down’ with a house and mortgage and 2.5 kids ?

Am I bizarre because even at 28 I still don’t know what I really want to do with my life and career, apart from the strong suspicion it definitely isn’t what I’m doing at the moment ?

And most importantly, am I absolutely phukt because I haven’t been updating my blog lately as much as I said I would ?

To paraphrase the old Hyundai slogan, “Please consider”. Peace out, have a great weekend y’all, I’m off to the pub to get a $5 meal with my mate Sam !

Listening To: More Korean Babble : Thx 2 Another ‘Net Cafe

You know, I’ve been in a few relationships in my time now, and looking back over them compared to my current situation, I think I’ve wound up in circumstances I haven’t encountered before. Shall I share what those circumstances are ? Yeah, why not eh ?

I know that, to various degrees, the majority of my previous partners did have feelings for me, in their own way. But I think it’s safe to say, especially for those familiar with my relationship history, that I’ve never had unconditional love and respect from my partners up to now. Whether it was to be more ‘artistic’, more ‘sensitive’, more ‘romantic’, more ‘in your face’ (read fŨcked up), more ‘corporate’ and a host of other ‘mores’, everyone I’ve previously been involved with has, on a fundamental level, wanted something from me, and wanted me to be something and someone that I wasn’t, or to become that person with time. Yes, even you Meerkat, so don’t argue this one …

In most cases I tried to be that person for a while … especially with the last one, for whom I tried virtually everything to become the man she wanted me to be. Ultimately though I failed in all the abovementioned cases – because you can’t go into a relationship expecting your partner to change, and to be someone they’re not just to fit the template in your head of your ‘ideal mate’.

So how does my current situation differ ? Well, I think it’s safe to say (and *do* correct me if I’m wrong IG) I’ve finally found that elusive ideal we all crave … the partner who loves me for who I am, not a make-believe image she has in her head. I know, I know – our regular readers will probably see this as a sign she’s slightly demented … but I don’t think she is ! I think she’s just a really wonderful woman, with more patience & understanding than most, a fun-loving streak and a lust for life which matches my own. All of which, funnily enough … makes me want to ‘impress’ her all the more, and to make her proud of me.

Maybe it’s the fact that, without a doubt, my partner is the kinda gal who really could get any guy she wanted. The kinda well connected thoroughbred who has relatives trying to set her up with Tom Long fer chrissakes ! Or maybe it’s just because I do find her so (sickiningly to everyone else I’m sure, but phark-U, this is my blog *lol*) fantastic … and find that, in comparison, I could and should try to be an even better ‘catch’ for her.

One things for sure … I know she’s gonna say she’s proud and happy to be with me already – but that’s the funny thing I’ve discovered about unconditional love. Find it, and you suddenly don’t need anyone telling to to do ‘better’ and be ‘more’ of anything … because you’re already gonna drive yourself harder to justify your partners belief in you.

Hats off IG – thanks for a great weekend babe, me love you long time ;P

Listening To: 21st Century Jesus : The Messiah

I know it’s been floating around for a while now on various people’s blogs – most recently on Imaginery Girl’s site … but for want of anything better to do here’s my version of the ‘Music Quiz(llet)’ …

1. Total amount of music files on your computer ?

You know, I really did *try* to get into the whole downloading MP3’s thing about 8 years ago. But even though I was hitting all the underground Mac ‘Hotline’ servers (now who else remembers THAT network, huh ?) in Germany, I still couldn’t find the weird, Teutonic industrial tracks I was listening to at the time, just the frikkin Beach Boys & Celine Dion, mostly. Oh and David Hasslehoff of course !

Given that experience … I don’t really see the appeal of downloading MP3’s of other peoples stuff, unless these are unreleased / unsigned artists, like the peeps at BTGetOutThere or MP3.Com.AU. Generally, MP3’s are shite anyway … I don’t see the fuss, given they are usually compressed at far below CD-quality to get the filesize down. Give me Ogg Vorbis any day ! That being said, I’ve got about 30 tracks from GetOutThere & MP3.Com.AU of ‘unsigned’ dance/electronica artists burnt to a CD, but not on any of my PC’s. My work PC has no other music on it at all … I just play my CD’s through it.

Which computer d’ya mean, anyway ? Do you mean my work PC, my laptop, or my (home) desktop machine ? Define “music files” … does this mean MP3’s/WMA’s/WAV’s of other people’s commercial releases (even if these are illegal burns), or do we include work-files (completed song or otherwise) for tracks I’ve written ? Really, the scope of this question should have been worked out better ;P

The work PC I’ve already discussed. The laptop and desktop at home have, between them, a few hundred MB worth of samples and parts of tracks in .WAV format for manipulating, and combined with 13 years worth of backup CD’s and cover discs, I’ve probably got a few gig of samples all up. Then there’s another 30 or 40 old-school 90’s techno Protracker (.MOD) & Screamtracker (.S3M) modules from Alternate Reality BBS by a bunch of demo-sceners I used to know back in the day, twenty or so Fasttracker2 .XM format tracks (although FT2 hasn’t worked on any of my PC’s for years, I tend to use Modplug) in various stages of completion, the Rebirth .RBS patterns for a track I’ve since lost the .XM workfile for, and a handful of Buzz format .BMW files, which is what I sequence with these days. Finally on top of that, there are backup Nero .NRI compilations for several versions of my first (shitty) EP, and the new one I keep pushing the release-date back for.

2. The CD you last bought is ?

‘Nobody Ever Really Dies’ by N.E.R.D, which I bought at JB-Hifi in Bondi Junction Westfields. I think the JB’s in Parramatta is better in terms of its size and the available selection … but IG and I ducked in to the one in BJ and they were on sale, so of course I had to buy *something*, didn’t I ? On the same outing I also bought a copy of RATM’s first album, since I didn’t have this on CD and had lost the tape years ago.

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message ?

‘Ra’ by Shy FX, off the ‘Drum And Bass Arena’ compilation by Fabio & Grooverider. Also a JB-Hifi purchase, but I got this one @ Parramatta. This is a pretty sweeet DNB compilation, although I must admit was really hanging out for a Busta Rhymes album, but they didn’t have any at JB at the time.

4. Name 6 songs that mean something to you?

That’s no fair … only 6 ?! I could probably name at least 60 songs that have a strong meaning for me in some way ! But OK, in no particular order of preference, here are the first 6 which spring to mind –

(1) It’s No Good – Depeche Mode

Probably my fave DM song. All ego, fantastic bassline, eminently danceable …

(2) Dominion/Mother Russia – The Sisters of Mercy

Quintessential gothness, exemplified by the dulcet tones of that f*cking twat Andrew Eldritch. Along with Temple of Love, this was on of my favourite club tracks throughout most of the 90’s.

(3) Just Like Heaven – The Cure

The ultimate combination of bitter-sweet, I keep changing my mind … do I prefer the studio version on ‘Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me’, or the extended live version on ‘Cure Show’ ? I dunno … either way, I looooove this song !

(4) Karma – 1200 Techniques

I’ve already talked about this track elsewhere. Summed up 2004 for me.

(5) Risingson – Massive Attack

The entire album, Mezzanine, which this track is off is fantastic. But this is pure, electronic, minimalist heaven !

(6) Brother Slimboy Chemical – Yours truly

A Rebirth/Modplug .XM-hybrid track, this was the first song I wrote that actually lasted the ‘standard’ 3 minutes, and got me back into sequencing after a few years of doing nothing but the occasional remix for nightclub DJ demos.

5. Who are you going to pass this stick on to, and why ?

No-one … it’s been done to death !

Listening To: Dear Valued Customer : Snog

A while ago my best friend and I started setting ourselves little writing ‘challenges’. This was back when we were both facing several years of creative stagnantion, and hadn’t yet discovered the dubious joys of blogging. In the end I don’t think either of us actually produced much that we were terribly happy with out of the exercise, but it did serve it’s purpose of acting as a catalyst for getting creative juices flowing again.

One thing that I was working on as part of that was a little piece of fiction appropriating some of the themes of the Ashton Kutcher film “Butterfly Effect”. Basically, in the story I went back in time and visited myself at a number of different turning points in my life. Unlike Ashtons character though, I was unwilling or unable to change any of my choices, and (had I finished the story) would have wound up exactly where I started. One thing I was pretty sure of during the course of writing it though, was that both incarnations of myself would have attempted to kick my own arse when the ‘present day’ me visited the ‘first year undergraduate’ me.

Now, I’m turning 28 in just under 3 months, and this year marks a decade since I started my first undergrad (BA Lit, Media & Cultural studies … go the scumbag arts grads !!!) course of study at good old Club Mac (AKA Macquarie University in Sydney). So I thought it would a good time as any to do a bit of a comparison to see how I’d match up against myself, if I really DID stumble upon a handy time machine and go back to kick my own arse …

AGE:
17¾ vs 27¾

WEIGHT:
70kg (154 lbs) vs 76kg (167 lbs)

This is probably equal parts extra fat, and equal parts lean muscle mass. I’m pretty sure on a purely muscle level, I would wipe the smirk off my younger face ! Mind you I was actually going to a gym back then, as opposed to working out with my weights at home, regularly moving furniture and whitegoods, and jogging on the street … but this was once in a blue moon, and it was more so my drug-taking-DJ-friend and I could try to pick up the ‘older’ (mid to late 20’s) chicks we actually had no chance of ever scoring with. Give it another 6 to 12 months and I’m gonna be the same weight I was a decade ago, but it’s gonna be aaaalll lean muscle mass. Farkkit … I want Brad Pitt abs … little woosie boy me didn’t care about that, but I do. Eat that, Disappearing Boy ;P

HEIGHT:
176 cm (5’8″) vs 176 cm (5’8″)

Ok, so I guess all that under-age smoking and drinking stunted my growth. I was in the habit of wearing my 14-hole, chunky soled Doc Martens almost religiously a decade ago, as opposed to funky trainers like I do mostly now (still have the boots, mind). However, all the exercise I’m doing these days working out my pecs and back mean I don’t slouch as much as I used to … so in the end I’d probably be standing nose-to-nose with myself.

HAIR:
Dyed Blue-Black Mullet vs (Natural) Light-Brown Short’n’Spikey

Come on then DB you little bitch-boy, come near me and I’ll tear that mullet out by the roots, my son ! *s*

FASHION (VICTIM):
‘Goth’ vs ‘Raver’

Where are your black long sleeved shirts, mesh singlet tops, and cut-off stretch black jeans teamed with celtic dragon tights now, huh DB ? In the back of the wardrobe with the “sodding black leather pants I got from a gay shop in Soho” (‘Ex-Inferus News’, anyone ?) no doubt. Following my own advice, my wardrobe these days contains a much wider array of ‘looks’ and colours than the basic blacks of a decade ago. The ‘default’ look has changed too, and I’m more likely to wear a funky, (coloured) singlet top or t-shirt with jeans (baggy, flared, and/or hipster) and trainers than anything else. Although I love my suits on occassion too … yes indeedy, my inner yuppie is ready to kick my little 17 year-old goth arse !

RELATIONSHIP STATUS:
Taken vs Taken

I wasn’t single 10 years ago, nor am I now. Through luck (good, bad, indifferent or otherwise) more than anything else, I haven’t really been single for most of the intervening period. But I’ve certainly gone through a few partners, and changed my ‘criteria’ in terms of what I look for. A decade ago, I was new to the whole ‘relationships’ thing, and seeing my first steady girlfriend after a 17 year drought Niave, inexperienced, and without a clue as to who or what I wanted, nor what was expected of me in a relationship, this was pretty much doomed to failure and imploded in on itself in just over six months.

Within a week though I was seeing a new bird, and each subsequent ‘entaglement’ got progressively longer in duration, culminating in 3 (or so) up-and-down years I spent with one of our regular readers. I took a break for a while, and with my next two relationships the duration trend started to reverse. I didn’t exactly like that, so I took a longer break and used the time to take a long hard look at exactly what I wanted, and what I would settle for. Now, after 7 months of singledom I’m in a relatively new relationship with a positively wonderful young lass, and I have a feeling the 6-month-max duration trend of those last two is going to be far out-lasted. At least I bloody hope so !!!

Still, I’ve got a feeling the younger-DB wouldn’t like the latest girlfriend at all. She’s too gorgeous for starters … I never used to date gorgeous women, ostensibly because I claimed ‘looks don’t matter’, but really because they were always too intimidating and I didn’t think much of myself either. She’s also far too normal and happy ! “Disappearing Boy, you superficial moron … how can you date a girl like that ?” “Watchoo talkin bout, Disappearing Boy ? At least she’s not 5-foot-nothing, has lots of worthwhile things to say, and isn’t always wandering around in too much eye-makeup, bitching about her checkout-chick job and how much better looking her speed-freak friend Renee is !” “Right, I’ll have you for that you bloody raver-yuppie-old-git !”

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OK … let’s try finish this off today … I’m still pissed at our servers at work going down yesterday, but I think I’ve got the strength to finish this now *grr*

WORK & LIVING:
Market Researcher vs Database Admin

Talk about ‘wheel comes full circle’. Ten years ago, I was living with my mum in Castle Hill, doing weekend door-to-door survey work for a small, local market research company in St.Leonards, and dropping in to St.Leonards Tavern for the occasional bevvie after a new project briefing. These days I work full-time for a huge, global market research company in Macquarie Park, currently helping their retail scan-data division convert from one obsolete inhouse production system to another slightly-less-obsolete system currently 5 years behind schedule, and god knows how much over budget. I pretty much live at St.Leonards Tavern, although I’m flat-sharing an apartment in Artarmon with a Kiwi ‘Wicca The Witch‘ and her two cats, and not that long ago was actually renting in Christie St, a few doors down from the pub.

Funnily enough, I didn’t actually hate my job as badly back then as I do now … for which I’d probably be tempted to kick my own arse again. “Oi, DB you little teenage shit … you like your job, dontcha ?” “Yeah … and ?” “AND I’m gonna kick your arse, you lucky prick ! Why should you have all the fun of working with a NORMAL team of people, and having a sexy female boss to perve on ?” “Haha, DB’s stuck working with geeks ! And your Italian male boss isn’t a patch on good old Kate the sexy ex-political-staffer, is he ? Nyeh, nyeh !” “OK DB, put ’em up pal, coz I’m gonna smack your face till it looks like a malformed beetroot !”

MUSIC (HOW I LOVE THEE):
Rivet-Head vs Ecclectic Funksta

Back in 1995, I was discovering the joys of Industrial & Darkwave artists like KMFDM, Cubanate, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult & Snog. I was also listening to the dulcet tones of Andrew Eldritch (Sisters of Mercy), Nick Cave (Birthday Party) & the German enigma that is Blixa Bargeld (Einsturzende Neuebauten), among others. I was going to clubs like Rollercoaster & Shrine pretty frequently, along with a bunch of one-off ‘goth’ nights at various venues. On top of that I loved my cheesy 80’s retro and could often be found at the Bristol Arms on Sussex, bopping along to Maynard spinning Madonna, Wham & other 80’s faves … or down on the ‘pure pop’ level, listening to Blur, Oasis & other fine examples of 90’s Brit-pop.

I still listen to all these artists (often when posting blog entries), but you’ll find me in a goth-club once in 6 to 8 months, if that. My music collection and music tastes have expanded almost exponentially in a decade, so if you have a look at an (almost) up-to-date listing of the stuff I own on CD & vinyl (and a small subset of my tape collection) I think you’d agree the best way to describe it is ‘ecclectic’. The last year to 18 months have seen me rediscovering my love of hip-hop, and a bit of a wog-homeboy side I didn’t even know I had. Must have been those 8 months living in North Parramatta 😉 When clubbing, I mostly go to ostensibly ‘mainstream’ places like Slip-Inn, or even worse the pretentious joints down at cockle bay like Bungalow 8 and Cargo Bar. I’m a bit of a sucker for my electronica & even *shudder* ‘commerical dance’, and I’m even partial to some current ‘pop’, especially after a few drinks.

More than anything else, I think this last point would whip teen-DB into a frenzy of hatred and derision … and the battle royale would be well and truly on ! “Hip-hop ? HIP-HOP ? You freakin’, yuppie, homeboy-raver, wog, hetero, superficial, mainstream, old FART ! I’ll _have_ you for that, Disappearing Boy you shit, you !”

Who do you think would win, guys ? 😉

Listening To: 1000 Fires : Traci Lords

It’s that time of year again … email-spam-ish ‘quiz’ time to be exact. For want of anything better to do, here are my answers to the quiz I ripped off Mellipop’s site, which she in turn ripped off someone else.

1. WHAT DID YOU DO IN 2004 THAT YOU’D NEVER DONE BEFORE?

Seriously proposed marriage to someone. Yeah, and got shot down in flames, big time !

2. DID YOU KEEP YOUR NEW YEARS’ RESOLUTIONS, AND WILL YOU MAKE MORE FOR NEXT YEAR?

The only resolutions I half-remember making last year were to have more fun, and stop being too polite / scared to go after what I want. Haven’t made any for this year yet, but then my resolutions always take a few days / weeks after NYE to crystalise !

3. DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU GIVE BIRTH?

My uncle’s girlfriend had a baby daughter half-way across the world in Prague. That’s as ‘close’ as it gets, at least as far as I know.

4. DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU DIE?

Luckily, no. Distant relative (the sister of my grandmother on dad’s side) shuffled off this mortal coil, but I don’t think I’d ever even met the woman.

5. WHAT COUNTRIES DID YOU VISIT?

Czech Republic (again) + transit in Malaysia and Germany.

6. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE IN 2005 THAT YOU LACKED IN 2004?

World domination ? Sorry … no … how about an enjoyable job WITH STABILITY ! A romantic relationship with someone who WON’T fŨck me over with stupid mind games ?

7. WHAT DATES FROM 2004 WILL REMAIN ETCHED UPON YOUR MEMORY AND WHY?

Valentines Day, midnight, when my ex ‘dumped’ my arse after a nice romantic dinner and the usual saucey shennanigans. Mid-April, when the same ex turned down my marriage proposal despite continuing to sleep with me. Late August, when I finally worked out still shagging her was a bad idea, especially given we were working together again.

8. WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT OF THE YEAR?

Networking my way to a job with real management potential and share options, despite knowing bugger all about the recruitment industry, and having to do this two days after the failed marriage proposal at my ex’s friend’s party with the ex in tow.

9. WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST FAILURE?

Not being able to stay in the above job, and ending up back here at *********.

10. DID YOU SUFFER ILLNESS OR INJURY?

Nope, apart from a few minor bouts of the flu.

11. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU BOUGHT?

Canon i685 Photo Printer … photo-lab quality prints in the comfort of my own home. Yay

12. WHOSE BEHAVIOUR MERITED CELEBRATION?

My mum’s. She’s finally trying to be less judgemental and more supportive than she has been in the past, which I really appreciated, especially in some of the blacker moments of 2004.

13. WHOSE BEHAVIOUR MADE YOU APPALLED AND DEPRESSED?

The Australian electorate’s ! Did you guys really have to vote that fascist f*cker and his henchman back in for ANOTHER term ?

14. WHERE DID MOST OF YOUR MONEY GO?

Cigarettes, alcohol, rent and design software – in that order.

15. WHAT DID YOU GET REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXCITED ABOUT?

Going to Prague after 3 years absence.

16. WHAT SONG WILL ALWAYS REMIND YOU OF 2004

Karma – 1200 Techniques. Not only did I re-discover my love of hip-hop last year, but it well and truly was the year of karma for this little black duck !

17. COMPARED TO THIS TIME LAST YEAR ARE YOU:

a) Happier or sadder?
Happier I do believe, yes.

b) Thinner or fatter?
Thinner … except for my face … damn that holiday-season alcohol chin-padding !

c) Richer or poorer?
Definitely poorer.

18. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU’D DONE MORE OF?

Writing, music production, saving money !

19. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU’D DONE LESS OF?

Spending money on booze and cigarettes. The eternal bloody quest …

20. DID YOU FALL IN LOVE IN 2004?

Indeedly doodley friendly neighbours … ignoring all self-preservation instincts in the process, to my own eventual detriment. Think I might be falling again in 2005 … but it’s really too early to tell with any reliability … so shhhhh !

21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TV PROGRAM?

Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Little Britain

22. DO YOU HATE ANYONE NOW THAT YOU DIDN’T HATE LAST YEAR?

I don’t really “do” hate. Although I’ve always hated Johnny & Dubya …

23. WHAT WAS THE BEST BOOK YOU READ?

Not Happy John – Margot Kingston. Still reading it …

24. WHAT WAS YOUR GREATEST MUSICAL DISCOVERY?

The Streets, before all you other f*ckers got on the band-wagon with the second album. Close second – 1200 Techniques, but I certainly wasn’t trail-blazing there !

25. WHAT DID YOU WANT AND GET?

A job as a recruitment consultant at Medijobs.

26. WHAT DID YOU WANT AND NOT GET?

An M-Audio midi controller keyboard for $275 from the cool music shop just up from our office in Bondi Junction.

27. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE FILM OF THE YEAR?

Shaun of The Dead

28. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, AND HOW OLD WERE YOU?

Went out drinking to Roxy Parramatta with the ex. I was 27.

29. WHAT ONE THING WOULD HAVE MADE YOUR YEAR IMMEASURABLY MORE SATISFYING?

Johnny losing the election like he was supposed to, dammit ! Just lie down and stay dead, you senile old f*cker !

30. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL FASHION CONCEPT IN 2004?

Metro-sexual raver-boy. Which at several points led to unwanted, extremely-forward attention from queer boys ! Have never freaked out and virtually run from a dance-floor before.

31. WHAT KEPT YOU SANE?

Mellipop, alcohol, 1200 Techniques, Prague and my dear old Ma !

32. WHICH CELEBRITY/PUBLIC FIGURE DID YOU FANCY THE MOST?

Gwyneth, Jessica Alba.

33. WHAT POLITICAL ISSUE STIRRED YOU THE MOST?

Iraq

34. WHO DID YOU MISS?

Ma, Pa, Mellipop

35. WHO WAS THE BEST NEW PERSON YOU MET?

Well she almost didn’t make it into 2004 thanks to my slackness with email, but I think the Divine Miss L takes spot numero uno here !

36. TELL US A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON YOU LEARNED IN 2004:

If you consistently find yourself having loud discussions with yourself in an Irish accent whilst drunk along the lines of “this girl is gonna mess you up, you know that right ?”, listen to the wisdom of the Irish and take heed of your own warnings !

37. QUOTE A SONG LYRIC THAT SUMS UP YOUR YEAR.

“You better watch for Karma” – 1200 Techniques