Mon 15 Aug 2005
FCUK Fat / Hurrah For Democracy [Edit]
Posted by Disappearing Boy under BB05 , Big Brother , Rant (Non Political)[3] Comments
Listening To: Choose One : 1200 Techniques
Current Horn Factor :
My apologies to anyone who read this post in it’s original (short) form, but I’ve decided it’s better to expand on the reasons for my glee at the most recent BB05 eviction, and to simultaneously tackle a rant that’s been a long time coming in the process. I’ve also edited it again now (as you’ll see from the post above referring to it being taken down temporarily) to take some of the ‘sting’ out … because I realised I was getting a little bit too worked up over some of the later stuff and I don’t want you guys to get the wrong idea ! Anyhoo …
The eviction I’m referring to is of course that of Vesna – the subject of a what was my shortest TROYL post to date earlier in the week, exhorting you to use the power of network-sanctioned democracy to make sure her whiny Macedonian arse was voted off the show. Seems Australia heard my impassioned cry – because come last night, this spoilt princess was indeed booted out of the BB05 house. Sitting rivetted on the couch, waiting for Gretle to open the eviction envelope, I’m sure the entire floor of my apartment block heard my loud whoop of “Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay !” as the erstwhile Kileen uttered the fabulous phrase “It’s time to go … Vesna” 
Now before I say anything else, we need to clarify that I have absolutely nothing against Macedonians in general. My dad is currently consulting in Albania, which is next door, and probably will be for another two years. Being a Czech immigrant myself, I have absolutely no problems with Eastern Europeans / Slavic races as a whole. It’s Vesna herself as an individual, rather than as a ‘representative’ of the Macedonian community, that I’ve had major issues with, and that’s why I’m sooooo delighted she is not one of the two remaining BB finalists.
“So what ‘issues’ do you have with the Melbourne hairdresser exactly ?” I hear you ask. A picture, as they say, speaks a thousand words …
This is exactly the kind of face we saw Vesna wearing for probably 80% of the time she was in the house. To say she is a bit of a whinger is perhaps the biggest understatement of the century. I lost count of the number of times watching the daily show that I just wanted to smack her about the head and scream “Shut the hell up Vesna you whining, snotty little biatch !” – and I’m not normally a violent man, nor have I ever hit a woman. However after only a few episodes of watching this chick do nothing but complain and carry on, I became more than thoroughly sick of Vesna and her shit.
I’m not a fan of whingers at the best of times … after too many years spent in the goth scene, I have very little patience left for people who choose to take a consistently negative view of life. Couple this with the fact that at least half of her frequent tantrums were directed at BB himself, and I know if I were in the house with Vesna I probably would have strangeled her within a week. I mean helloooo … if you hated BB so much Ves, why did you agree to go on the show as an ‘intruder’ in the first place ? It’s not like you were like the rest of the housemates who had no idea what was in store for them this season, were you ? You got the watch the first three weeks of the show like the rest of us, so you knew the producers were going to play up the ‘mean BB’ angle this year. Yet you still went into the house … so why the FŲCK couldn’t you just shut your stinking pie-hole ? Or better yet, why didn’t you tell the producers you didn’t want to go on the show after all, and given someone else who auditioned (me, pick me !!!) the chance to go in instead ?
Another source of frustration for Vesna and myself were the household chores, or to be more precise, her attitude to said chores. How anyone who has reached 28 – my age – can have no idea about doing simple things like window washing or toilet-bowl cleaning is completely beyond me !!! Prior to BB did Vesna live in a little Macedonian coccoon, where mum and dad did all of those tedious but necessary things around the house for her, so that our little princess never had to lift a finger ? I guess so, given the way she carried on (and on, and on, and ooooon) when faced with these tasks for the first time in her life on entering the BB house. This alone qualifies her for the title of “Biggest Twat of BB05″, a title jointly shared with Glenn the shearer for all his many (but entirely different) flaws.
I’m not talking about her outburst during the ‘Masters & Slaves’ task about being unable to cope with being “a slave to a man”. I’m talking about the routine upkeep the housemates are required to perform while they live in the BB house. It’s not very arduous housework either. Compared to the way most normal adults live, the BB house is generally a bit of a sty. Nonetheless, maintaining even this very basic state of household cleanliness was a bit too much for Vesna it seems. I’ve got news for you babe. True – most men aren’t going to ask you to be a ‘slave’. However, most decent self-respecting blokes (unless they’re complete pigs themselves) are going to expect you to do your part in keeping the place you live in together clean. Most men don’t want a slave, but most men don’t want a frikkin’ princess either ! It’s little wonder then that Vesna’s ex Ari, the one rumoured to be causing so much friction with her family on the outside, is only 21 years old. Who else but a guy barely out of his teens would be stupid enough to put up with attitude like that ?
I mean honestly, can you imagine waking up next to that sour looking face in the morning ? Jeeeeeesus ! “What’s wrong Vesna honey ?” “I’m feeling frumpy this morning, and I think I broke a nail in my sleep. I need chocolate, you have to buy me some before you go to work.” “I can’t baby, or I’m going to be late …” “God, you’re a bastard Ari. I hate you, I’ve always hated you. I think I had a better time living in the BB house than living with you !” “Ok … ok … I’m sorry, I’ll get your chocolate before I leave.” “Good … and clean the toilet before you go too. I think I had one too many tubs of Haagen Daasz last night, and my shit was really runny.” “Umm … ok. Listen, I might be back a bit later tonight, we have work drinks on. Love you baby …” “Oh … GOD … you think my arse is fat, don’t you ?” “What ?” “You’re cheating on me with some woman from work, and it’s all because you think my arse is fat, isn’t it ?” “But … but … I never …”. Ari you poor, poor schmuck ! I feel soooo sorry for you … if you have any sense at all, you won’t get back together with this girl, and you definitely won’t marry her if you know what’s good for ya !
Speaking of fat arses – yes, I must say the other reason I quickly got sick of watching Vesna was because I couldn’t stand another day of having to see her chunky thighs wobbling about in her pink tracksuit while she grabbed herself another tub of icecream out of the BB fridge ! I already live with an overweight, moody, black-haired, housework-lazy chick, and shall continue to do so for another month until I move in with my fiancé. TV is supposed to provide escapism, not to strain my eyes by adding more unattractive people to my life than I already have to deal with in the real world on a daily basis. If I wanted to watch an overweight woman sitting on a sofa eating icecream, I just have to walk in to my loungeroom. I don’t even need to turn on the TV, because she will already be watching one of the million and one shows she seems to follow, although idiot that I am I still pay half the cable TV bill ! This brings us very neatly then, to the more ‘general’ rant I mentioned earlier – a rant I’ve been hinting at for several months now. A rant that’s been building for almost a lifetime.
You see, gang … if it hasn’t become obvious yet over the course of many posts you’ve read on TROYL by now, I’m going to state something here plainly and for the record which may not win me many friends, but which I firmly believe nonetheless. Basically, over the last decade or so I’ve developed an almost pathological aversion to a certain type of person you see more and more of on the streets, in shopping centres and even in your favourite nightclub, every day ! That’s right guys, I’m talking about freakin’ fatties !
I’m sorry, but I simply don’t like fat people who are under the age of 45, and I don’t see anything wrong with that !!!
It wasn’t always this way – I even dated a fairly chubby girl (who has since ballooned into an elephant) for a year or two back in the misspent days of my late teens. However, the older I get and the more it seems everywhere around me the chubbies multiply, the less I’ve found myself able to block out the natural repulsion and disdain which arises when you see a truly humungous guy or girl walking down the street.
It seems to be a uniquely Anglo-Saxon problem too – we don’t get this happening back home in mainland Europe ! You might see on or two fat locals at most, but either the rest don’t exist, or they have the common sense to stay home and live their lives as shut-ins, instead of parading around Penrith Westfields in tight denim miniskirts and crop tops (girls) or baggy bumsters and Snoop-Dogg singlets (guys), rolls of lilly-white Celtic lard literally hanging over their waistbands. Now back in my younger days I used to believe you were supposed to support people in developing good self esteem and a positive self-image, yadda yadda yadda, and everything good would follow. However, I think I’ve finally realised that’s not doing the trick here.
I think what we need to do is SHAME these people into losing those extra fekking kilos, NOT to praise them !!!
Yes, they probably get teased mercilessly by their peers at school. Join the club … I might not have been fat back when I was a kid but I still got teased mercilessly for other things. However, as a society we’re still telling these people “it’s OK. You’re just sick. We still like you, and you’re a worthwhile person”, which isn’t doing much to solve the problem, is it ? We’re making them feel better about themselves, which means they keep stuffing their fat faces with cheeseburgers and will one day end up breeding, usually with someone of a similar body shape. Invariably the offspring these unfortunate people produce end up even fatter, given they are eating the same lipid-rich, nutritionally-poor diets as their obese parents, and sport isn’t encouraged in these families. All of which means our kids or grandkids are going to end up with a drought of genuinely attractive thin people to have sex with, unless they import them from overseas !
Over here, we have Ray Martin doing ACA stories about women being denied work as promotions models because they are “deemed too chubby”, and taking their side against the modelling agency. If the same thing happened in France or Germany or Czech Republic, the woman would be a laughing stock, and they would feature an interview with her wasp-thin, tanned and perfectly groomed French mother (mmm … MILF ! ;P) saying what a disgrace to her family Claudette is, and begging her to get some help for her obvious weight problem.
Commentator: So what are you saying, Madame Baptiste ?
The Yummie Mummie: (sobbing) My daughter … I love her .. . but she ees a fůcking pig, Jean-Paul. I ‘ave failed as a muzzerr … I am so ashamed (more tears)
She wouldn’t be half-wrong either, would she ? Why do I have this strong antipathy towards fat people ? Part of it is to do with the fact that it’s not just our kids and grandkids who will be experiencing a drought of normally-proportioned people … I actually found the beginnings of it with my own dating experiences in the last two years or so where it seemed like virtually every remotely attractive person was already coupled up, and at least every second blind date I went on turned out to be someone outside the boundaries of the ‘acceptable to shag’ weight-range ! Even more than that though, the thing which really scares me about fat people is that it would be pretty easy for me to become one, if I let myself …
‘Aye – there’s the rub ! I have to work very hard to stay in shape, and thanks to a combination of genes and lifestyle, it’s very easy for me to put weight on (and fairly easy to shift it when I exercise, thankgod) when I let myself slack off, as I have been over the winter months. At the moment I weigh 80.5 kg, which is fucking atrocious when you consider I measure 175cm and have been losing muscle mass to fat during the winter months. Worse yet, this is not too far off the most I’ve ever weighed – 86kg during a very black period living in Melbourne. I think I’d die of shame if I ever got that frikkin bloated again before middle age – hopefully NEVER !
See, I don’t like looking at other fat people, but I positively loathe looking in the mirror or at photos and seeing my familiar face looking back with the onset of chubbiness beginning. Fucking H-A-T-E it !!!! Considering at one point when I was living in Sweden I weighed only 65kg from being vegetarian and riding my pushbike everywhere all day instead of driving … it’s all the more distressing watching my gradual cellular lipid buildup.
Which is why dear readers, you’ll find me enthusiastically joining my sexy fiancé IG (who really doesn’t need it, but who am I to argue) in her ‘detox’ & upcoming ‘get back in shape’ / ‘shake off the winter kilos’ resolve. It’s time to lose that winter flab gang, and head back to the solarium before summer … or Fiji if you’re lucky enough to afford it like IG ;P Who knows … maybe someone out there knows Vesna and can point her in the direction of this weblog, and she can take a leaf out of this book too !
I’m not sure what a “bondi oil babe” is …
