The Rest of Your Life (v4)

So I’ve tried various ways to make Machinima over the years, but the problem has always been that I SUCK at 3D. A few days ago though, I found a new bit of software called Movie Storm, and for once it does what it says on the box – makes Machinima creation relatively painless.

Here’s my first effort – a little short I’ve called ‘The Blinky Conundrum’ – let me know what y’all think !

The Blinky Conundrum – HD from Czechboy Films on Vimeo.

So I’ve been keeping busy again with work and other stuff (big surprise there, huh ?)

Haven’t managed to write any new posts for ages, but I did manage to put together another little trailer mash-up, now doing the rounds on YouTube. I think it’s definitely better than the first one (although the former has also been redubbed and tweaked now, coz I finally have a decent mic at home).

Have a squiz, and please share this with your mates if you like it !

Hey dudes & dudettes,

SO for something a little different, below you’ll find a little something I’ve been working on in my ever-decreasing spare time over a fair while now. It’s finally finished, and it’s now up on YouTube.

That’s right folks … I’m talking about my first ever ‘trailer mash’. Especially good for fans of Kevin Smith films, I think it’s bloody hilarious (but then I would). Please let me know what YOU all think

12. You dig Kellie Osbourne’s Moog-inspired synth tattoo. 

11. You read the Sound on Sound back-catalogue of hardware reviews almost obsessively, especially whenever a particularly sweet looking synth comes up on Ebay.   

10. The top favourites in your browser include VintageSynth, the Harmony Central user reviews, and the Musical Instruments > Professional Audio & DJ Gear > Synthesisers category on Ebay.

9. Instead of subscribing to Yahoo groups involving celebrity porn like the rest of humanity, your subsriptions include groups like “Synth Programming”, “Alpha Juno & MKS-80” and “Polyphony for the Masses”

8. You get involved in passionate debates on the InTheMix forums about the relative merits of ‘true’ analogue vs VA hardware.

7. Not only can you wax eloquently about extended ADSR envelopes, aftertouch and oscillator pitch drift in said arguments, but you actually know what the terms you’re bandying about mean.

6. Although you live in a relatively small two bedroom apartment, and wouldn’t really know how to operate it properly, you occasionally have dreams about breaking into Jack Dangers’ house to steal his Synthi 100.  

5. You find yourself listening to early 80’s records by bands like Depeche Mode & Ultravox, and thinking “hmm yeah, I think that’s preset 32 on my Poly 800” or “Oberheim OB-X solo – I like it !”.

4. Your partner complains that you sometimes wake her up, mumbling things in your sleep like “Yes, but the real question is – does it have any LFO’s ?”, and “If you sign it Mr.Moog, I promise I’ll blow you right here !”.

3. You abuse the arpeggiator on your synth to make ringtones for your mobile phone, having graduated from downloading the MP3 patch demos of obscure 80’s keyboards on Sealed’s page for said purpose.

2. When you take your fiance overseas to see your homeland for the first time, you take time out from visiting historic sites and family, to drag her around a bunch of dodgey musical instrument stores, trying to find the elusive “too good to be true, they’re Eastern European and too niave to realise what they’ve got” synth deal.

1. When you finally do get married, and score yourself some cash in the process, not only do you buy whitegoods for the both of you to use, you also blow a good chunk of it on a new synth, having compared potential purchase candidates for literally months on end beforehand

Listening To: Bohemian Rap : The Marginal Profits (Magnatune)

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
Nealio Bush = Gollum
Nealio IRAQ MY PRECIOUSSS
Nealio NO WE HATES IT
SuperMoogle They stole it from uss, preciousss …THE WMDS…

Hi All, here’s the next thrilling update to my weekly humour serial – “Juiced”.

Click on the image below it to view the episode, or “save as” to download an watch offline (don’t worry, it’s only 17kb in size or thereabout).

COMMENTS WOULD BE APPRECIATED THIS TIME GANG !!!

Listening To: Forever Soul : Blackberry Jam (Spyral Records)

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
SMk how would i check a mysql database to see if a table exists ?
JenuWhine put down a table cloth, if it doesn’t turn into a rug –
JenuWhine then it exists !

Here’s something new for you gang … I’m decided to try my hand at creating a regular little Flash-animated web serial I call “Juiced”. Think 8-bit graphics, gamer-humour, non-sequiters and masses of pop-culture references. Naturally we’ll be leading up to some of those as the serial progresses (I’ve already got 10 episodes scripted, now it’s just a matter of animating them and putting ’em up). Will also particularly (but not exclusively) appeal to those of you out there who remember a funky little early 80’s arcade game named “Joust”. I loved that game … wasted many happy hours of my youth playing that outside the milk bar near Metella Road !

Here’s a quick screen-grab – click on it to go to the animation, or “save as” to download an watch offline (don’t worry, it’s only 17kb in size or thereabout).

Let me know what you all think, and feel free to pass on to your friends

Listening To: The White Room : KLF

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
GreenJelly omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
GreenJelly her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big Dicks
GreenJelly IM SO IN

In a similar vein to Dating – 101 Chicks To Avoid …

The Ãœber-Geek

Typical Names: Tristan, Terrance, Phillip

This is the guy (it’s aaaaalways a guy) at your office that makes Bill Gates look positively studly by comparison. He’s the one that the other geeks (even if you work in a predominently IT environment) will dismiss as ‘too far gone’. With little to no social skills, a shirt that always sports at least one food stain, bad breath, coke-bottle glasses, a little D&D/LOTR/Warhammer/Star Wars diorama in his cubicle, and a scary Jessica Alba obsession, this guy is almost guaranteed to be desperate and dateless every Friday night for the rest of his pitiful life.

The Pros:
You never have to worry about him competing for the attentions of any nubile female co-workers, he’s always on time to the office (unless he spent a particularly heavy night downloading porn / playing an MMOG), he tends to have no concept of office politics which can make him a valuable pawn in your machiavellian schemes, and no matter how obscure the problem your server/system/mp3 player is having, he’ll be able to track down the patches online and get it back up and running within the space of a few hours at most. He’ll never go out for Friday drinks with the rest of you.

The Cons:
If you ask him for a favour, you will have to listen to his Linux/monty python/knock-knock jokes, his misguided opinion on the latest news story (if he’s aware of the greater world around him at all), and the life story of his latest D&D/Everquest character. Even if you don’t ask him for anything, he will occasionally come around to dispense bon mottes of his ‘wisdom’ (as he likes to think of it) to random co-workers, such as “you realise Mp3 is an inferior sound format, don’t you ? What we really need are Ogg-Vorbis players !” or “I’ve developed an algorithm for optimising our bog roll reordering strategy”. He’ll never go out for Friday drinks with the rest of you, preferring to stay back at the office and tie up your network bandwidth playing Age of Empires or Battlefield 1942 (never a ‘normal’ FPS like Counter-Strike) online or with a crew of lesser-geeks.

The Cassanova

Typical Names: Mike, Todd, Harry

This is the guy who thinks he really is God’s gift to women. Invariably he’ll tend to work in sales or client service, drive a red sports car, and spend all his days bragging to anyone who will listen about his latest ‘conquest’. He will also invariably be sexist, misogynist, have a receding hairline, and actually possess a penis the size of a (small) breath mint. All the pictures in his wallet of women he claims to have ‘been’ with are actually pulled from dating sites (if he’s even mildly clever) or porn sites (if he’s not), he still lives with his mum, and the last time he actually had sex was during the 2000 Sydney Olympics when a mildly retarded, drunken Albanian woman mistook him for someone who does toilet paper commercials in their country.

The Pros:
Generally speaking, there are no pros to knowing one of these sad sacks of shit. However, 1 out of every 100 office cassanovas actually deserves their reputation. These rare individuals are definitely worth cultivating the friendship of, as they will introduce you to bevvies of beautiful women they’ve “cast off” and which you can exploit for your own decidedly perverted ends.

The Cons:
Your female friends will shun you for associating with this dickwad, you have to listen to the same inane pickup story week-in, week-out where only the name and the hair colour changes, you’ll have to cover for him when he takes long lunch-breaks trying to “woo” some chick who will blow him off anyway, and the sight of his hairy chest puts you off your morning tea every day you see it.

The Office Tramp

Typical Names: Bree, Danielle, Chastity

The female counterpart of The Cassanova, unlike him this chick is more than just talk. She’s had everyone from the managing director to the mailroom clerk, not to mention all the competition’s salesteam. She keeps a vibrator in her top drawer and wears miniskirts to all the company meetings. Sure, the boss will fire her arse as soon as she starts to lose her looks – but for now, you can bet all the promotions are going to keep coming her way in exchange for the ‘favours’ she does him every Friday night after everyone else has left the office.

The Pros:
If you’re single and desperate, it doesn’t take much ‘spade-work’ to get this girl to bump uglies with you. Dinner at Burger King, followed by a Vin Diesel flick at your local cinema should do it.

The Cons:
She’s likely to give you a second-hand dose of the clap that Brad from sales caught from the Mexican hooker he had last time he was over in the States on a ‘product training course’.

The Chronic Masturbator

Typical Names: Adrian, Jason, Sam

Not content with flogging the dog over Internet porn late at night in the privacy of his own home like the rest of us, this wanker can’t keep his hands off himself for even the eight measly hours he’s required to be at his desk doing actual work. May or may not be combined with the Uber-Geek previously mentioned, either way he’ll be the one groaning to himself in the toilet cubicle next to yours when you’re trying to squeeze a curry shit out (the gift that just keeps giving) during the pathetic half hour you get for lunch. He’ll have to scurry urgently to the toilet again when he sees the outfit that Tracy from accounts is wearing for her RSVP date later in the evening, his taste in desktop wallpaper will invariably stray within the grayer areas of your workplace sexual harrassment policy, he’ll use up all the paper towels in the washroom, and any surface he has recently touched will be coated with a decidedly sticky residue. 

The Pros:
If you raid his PC after he’s gone home, you’re sure to find a juicy porn folder or two hidden (not usually very cleverly) somewhere within the darker corners of the filesystem. Depending on your industry and how high up in the office foodchain he is, you may also be able to read the latest issue of Ralph of FHM as soon as it comes out, thanks to his (company sponsored) subscription ‘for research’. One word of warning though – make sure you get your hands on said magazine before he does, unless you like your reading material crusty.

The Cons:
As already stated, you can’t shake hands with him, he uses up all the paper towels in the bogs, and he disturbs the zen-like concentration you need in order to have an even vaguely satisfying shit at work. Given his obsession with ‘self-abuse’ he’s also likely to be chronically sleep-deprived, meaning you have to cover for him whenever he gets behind in his work. Eventually he’ll develop carpel-tunnel syndrome or RSI in his preferred wanking hand and have to be put on compo, which will cut into the bottom line and therefore everyone elses perks and benefits.

The Office Stoner

Typical Names: Dave, Bob, Tracey

Whatever else this boy or girl maybe into, you can bet stonerdom is the overriding leit-motif which defines their personality. Whether they’ve just come back from Nimbin, or they’re heading off to Amsterdam for the duration of their annual leave, you can bet they’ve just got their hands on a fresh batch of skunk, or they’re about to. Their desktop wallpaper features David Chapelle or Bob Marley, their eyes are permanently blood-shot from all the cones they punch (two or three before work, one during morning tea, one during lunch, and 50 million or so at home after knock-off time), and they’re permanently trailed by a ganja stink that’s stronger than the Hordern during a Cypress Hill concert. 

The Pros:
If you’re into the wacky-tobaccy, you’ve just made yourself a new friend This person will consistently score you the sweetest weed since that stuff you used to get off your highschool Drama teacher, and won’t even rip you off when it comes to price.

The Cons:
As everyone knows, chronic use of chronic can lead to short-term memory problems, aggression, loss of motivation, and impaired motor co-ordination. All of which means your new best pal may have problems dealing with various aspects of most workplaces, and can be downright dangerous if their job involves operating heavy machinery, driving, or working in air traffic control.

The Fundy AKA Hillsong Boy/Girl

Typical Names: Raymond, Henry, Fiona

Most larger offices will have at least one of these, and unfortunately even smaller companies aren’t immune (although if you work in a ‘sinful’ field like advertising or PR, your chances of running into one are thankfully reduced). The Fundy appears to come in many forms, but regardless of which particular religious strain they dogmatically adhere to (Mormons, Born Again Christians, Muslims, Hassidic Jews, Temple of the One Eyed Fruit Bat etc), this dogmatic adherance is precisely what makes all these crackpots one and the same. Although they’re generally hard workers, Fundies invariably find it hard to endear themselves to anyone but other Fundies. Perhaps its because they’re always tirelessly trying to convert you to their faith by forwarding you little Jack Chick tracts in your email or leaving copies of the Quoran lying around in the mens washrooms, perhaps its the dirty looks they give Tracy from accounts when she mentions her upcoming RSVP date, or maybe it’s just the hostility you can feel emanating from them whenever you open up a packet of “Uncle Liu’s Pork Crackling Snacks” at the office to wash down with your Friday arvo beer. 

The Pros:
None, unless you’re a Fundy yourself, or you enjoy baiting them with questions like “So tell me Fiona, if the Virgin Mary really was a virgin when she gave birth, does that mean Jesus had to tear her hymen with His teeth on the way out ? Or was it more like parting the Red Sea ?”

The Cons:
Regardless of what you do, they’re likely to disapprove. Baiting them may or may not also get you killed, especially if they have a bunch of cousins as religiously fervant as they are, and access to your personnel records.

And that, kids, is where I think we’ll end it for today – I’m sure I’ve pissed off my required daily quota of random surfers with that post ;-) 

Listening To: Eternal E : Eazy E

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day

hakan I hate it when the girl looks into
hakan the camera during a blow job.
hakan It totally destroys the fourth wall,
hakan which is so very important in a porno flick.

Well, for want of anything better to post this morning, I thought I’d share with you another of our semi-regular peeks at the browsing habits of of your fellow TROYL readers. In other words, here’s a look at some of the more edifying search-phrases people are using to find this site on google et-al …

Big Brother Fans
I’m still getting shitloads of hits from BB fans, although my commentary on this years series was virtually non-existent, apart from some early speculation about my potentially auditioning. To put it in perspective – over the last 3 months I’ve had 1803 hits from search engines. Of those the majority were BB related in some way – 1154 of them in fact ! More often than not, the ‘some way’ relation were sad bastards searching for nude pics of the BB housemates. That’s just tragic. If you’re that desperate, just buy a fucking Ralph magazine fellas. Or Zoo, FHM, NW … take your pic really, coz Krystal has had her tits out just about everywhere !

The only BB searchphrase I’m even going to dignify with a mention this time around (because re-posting them just encourages a vicious google search-cycle) is

“saxon jo ashton want my mum“

The mental image that conjures up is frightening, isn’t it ? 😉

The Usual Porn & ‘Naughty Celeb’ Addicts
a lesbian with her tongue up another girls arse hole
albanian girls to be spanked
animal sexy fcuk woman photo
ann coulter nyphomaniac
arabian g-string
aussie celebrities uncut photos
aussie pussy
backpacker nude pics
backpacker party sexy photo
backpackers nude at scubar in sydney
backpackers nude pictures
big schlong pictures
big shags
bizarre insertions
blonde dress photo nipple uni
bondi beach topless girls photos
castle hill nude
castle hill nude sex xxx
celebrity movie julie delphie nude
celebrity shags
coogee topless -phone
creative delta goodrem desktops wallpapers
cute asian girl and had sex
czech fuck
denise drysdale breasts
dieter brummer free pics
dieter brummer gay
dieter brummer pictures
dieter brummer semi nude
female celebrities nude pictures
fiona horne – nude
fiona horne free nude pics
fiona horne nude
fiona horne nude photos
fiona horne nude pics
fiona horne photos naked
fucking australian teen girls
fucking housewives sydney
give photos john holmes cocks
holly valance in leather boots
jessica naked pics private website
john holmes cock pics
julie delphie nude
julie delphie photos
mark phillipousis ex girlfriends
mark phillipousis girlfriend
mark phillipousis paris hilton
mark phillipousis tattoo
merv hughes in leather pants
naked cock blog
naked gay white teenage boys showing their dicks with pics
pics of tim patch the penile artist
see my boobies
sex images champagne bottle in my pussy image
sex melbourne
sexy anglo saxon wench
sexy boat pictures
sexy slovak women -johnny
teenage country boys shagging
teens making naughty xxx home videos
uk shags.com

I swear … I still don’t run a prØn site … but I really should, with the amount of traffic I get for delightful search phrases such as the above ! This is only a selection mind you of the kind of shit ‘popping up’ (hehe) in my logs. We had a fair few g-string related ones, the usual backpacker sex addicts, a bunch of people looking for Albanian porn, a whack off … I mean whack of John Holmes hits (what can I say ? I guess word gets around when you’re as well-endowed as a certain blogger *s*), the usual Mark Phillipousis stalkers and a new group of pervs looking for nudie pics of Fiona Horne. Sorry gang … the closest I got was meeting her backstage @ Blackmarket one time when Def-Fx were playing support for Infectious Grooves. I won’t go into the details, but I know for a fact there’s no pictures around 😉 As for the sick puppies wanting photos of Denise Drysdales tits (and Merv Hughes In Leather Pants) – that is really, reaaaaally twisted !

Desperate Horny Fuckheads
backpacker sex
bi curious sydney uni
bisexual desperate housewives
big dick for my girlfriend
bikie porn chicks
circle jerk clubs
horny single milfs
horny teens wanting sex
hot chicks from batemans bay
housewives looking for sex
lonely horny housewives
madamme jobs in bondi junction
melbourne milfs
package pants hand rub together hard bulge mine
parramatta nude massage
parramatta prostitutes
pick up hookers hotels melbourne
sexy teen suadi free video
show me your nude sister
soula xxx video
ulladulla high sexy girls pictures
where to buy scat sex movies sydney
wife swapping
wife swapping clubs
your ex wife
yummie mummie

I really do wonder, ya know gang, how Google ends up directing these people to my site. It’s not like I had an advertisment anywhere up on TROYL saying “Wanted: Madamme To Run High-Class Brothel In Bondi Junction. Essential: At least 3 years experience in a similar role, MYOB or Quickbooks experience, good references. Preferred: The ability to tell the full on crackwhores from the occasional junkies, and turf them out accordingly is a definite plus, as is a willingness to perform oral when needed.” I’m a bit disturbed by the fact some of the peeps visiting this site want me to show them my nude sister as well … especially when you consider I don’t even have a sister ! And don’t get me started on circle jerk clubs …

Chubby Chasers & Bogans
bogans with beanies
chubbies in mini skirts
gay chubby boy
hot milfs in penrith
jennifer tilly fat
knocking on heavens door happy hardcore
malaysia chubby & chaser
met a date while in the mall
nelson bay high school reunion
overweight kiwi
pole dancing classes western suburbs sydney
vs commodore ventilation problem
wog or poofter if you played soccer

Ah, there’s nothin’ like chubbies in miniskirts when you’re walkin’ through Penriff Mall, eh ? Pity you won’t find the solution to VS Commodore ventilation problems here though. In fact, I think this is the first and only time VS Commodores have (and will be) mentioned on TROYL. I don’t have a happy hardcore cover of Knockin on Heavens Door to download for you either, sorry guys. As for thinking only “wogs or poofter”s play soccer … screw you … I played soccer when I was a lad. Oh … wait … I am a wogboy. Damn !

The Vain & Vacuous
3 wise monkeys tatoo
a bob hairstyle with pokie ends
blonde tan nyphomaniac
botox bondi junction australia
bratz modelling agency
gay recruitment consultant
jessica alba diet and exercise
loreal men expert review
loreal men expert think
loreal men expert tired skin
male model name in loreal men expert
paris hilton and solariums
pornseries hairdresser
princess bitch face syndrome
scaring in solariums
sexy steps to make the guys so horny
solariums at bondi
solariums castle hill
sunbaking pressures to look good
who is loreal men expert male model

You guys know I’m not the model in the Loreal Men Expert commercials, right ? I mean I use the stuff, but don’t come to my site expecting endorsements or pictures of me cavorting shirtless in big tubs of it or anything. I’d like to find a “pornseries hairdresser” though … that would be cool ! I must say I’m curious to know what “princess bitch face syndrome” is as well … no doubt it’s a result of finding “Botox Bondi Junction Australia”

Plain Weird
baloons in chatswood
cats pissing remedy
cyborg evo force darwin
dr martens beetroot leisure 14 hole
drink from salma feet tequila dusk till dawn
eat sushi of naked girls
eat sushi off naked women
erotic assimilation borg
friday night live 2006 corgi poo
functional psychopath
from dusk till dawn wine leg foot drink selma hayek
fur coat heat stroke -dog -pig -cat -chinchilla -ferret -rabbit -pet -animals
gripley tools
horny older cougars with cock in their mouths
how to make lift gunpowder
mean girls mind games
mongoose ritual bike reviews from people
nay sydney lesbian web of death
opposite of nyphomaniac
psychopath functional
puberty humour
risingson fetish
young liberals weirdos

There is no puberty humour on this blog. Ever. Really … I’d never make fun of people with pimples, raging hormones and shitty part-time jobs at McDonalds 😉 Corgi poo on the other hand … hehe … what more needs to be said than “corgi poo” really. I think we might be dealing with a few surfers who have a bit of a ‘robot fetish’ as well gang – how else do you explain “cyborg evo force darwin” and “erotic assimilation borg” ? Stay away from TROYL, you sick trekkie android-fuckers !!! *s* Speaking of fetishes, what the hell is a ‘risingson fetish’ ? Is it ‘erotic asphyxiation’ a-la the Sean Connery (“Rising SUN” you morons !) flick of a few years back, or something even wierder ? Tell you one thing … I hope I never get caught in the “Sydney Lesbian Web of Death”, especially by wierdos trying to make “Liftâ„¢ Gunpowder” with “Gripley Tools” !!! And yes …. Young Liberals ARE weirdos

Clubbers, Musos & Party People
1 tankstream way sydney
acoustic live unsigned sydney 2006
angel bar merrivale
bungalow 8 club friday night
bungalow 8 photos parties
cheap hipster vinyl pants
clubbin what it means when arse grabbed
clubbing dance moves
cohi bar
dcm nightclub sydney
does bungalow 8 have a dance floor
friday night for the rest of our life
funny life of a clubber
going out in sydney clubbing
goth club prague
goth club prague czech republic
goth sydney shrine
ibitha rave
italian g strings
jai rodriguez nightclubs
jbhifi musical keyboards
leonards tavern
little lost raver
m-audio evolution mk-425c
m-audio oxygen 8 midi controller cheap
m audio uno
midi controller parramatta
music shop parramatta midi controller
neotokyo july 2006 sydney
nightclub bosse sound
nightclub chicks kissing — video samples
nightclub grope
positivo – friday 11 august
positivo pics
rapture gothic sydney club
sam raver software
slipp inn
slipp inn establishment
spanish quarter sydney
sydney cbd nightclubs / 80 s music
tankstream bar
tankstream bar sydney
tankstream nightclub

See, now these are the kind of people I want visiting my site. Clubbers, party people, people who go to pubs … yeah … hang on … ‘nightclub chicks kissing’ … ‘arse grab’ … ‘cheap vinyl pants’ …. damn … too many flashbacks to my teens and early 20’s again ! 😛

That’s it’s y’all, keep it real and have a great weekend !

Listening To: Maximum Bass 2 : Various Artists

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day

iibbmm Stupid World of Warcraft.
iibbmm I have no money, I have no skills.
iibbmm All of the hot Elven women are dancing with
iibbmm the big warrior guys. It’s college all over again.

Dear Monday,

Let me begin by saying this is the first time I’ve written a letter to a specific day of the week. Indeed it’s not in my usual nature to anthromorphose entities on my calendar, with the possible exception of Friday, for whose timely return I pray on a routine basis. Nonetheless, I’ve decided to take the unusual step of writing to you at this point in time because I feel there are a few things we need to get straight between us.

I’m sorry to have to say this but – I just don’t like you, Monday. To be frank, I’m not sure anyone does. Musicians from Sir Bob Geldoff (“I Don’t Like Mondays”) to New Order (“Blue Monday”) have long attested to our mutual dislike of you. One of the UK’s first mass murders (which inspired Bob to write the aforementioned tune in the first place) occured while you were prancing around doing your “It’s your Monday, it’s your weekday” thing. Shakespeare has probably made a reference to the odiousness of your presence – and if I were more of a ‘classic canon’ geek I’d be able to actually quote said reference. Hell … there’s even a popular colloquial phrase to describe the feeling most people get whenever your ugly head pops up, to whit ‘Monday-itis’. That’s right Monday – seeing you around makes most of us ‘regular joes’ feel sick !

Now you might be thinking to yourself “why me ? Why not pick on Tuesday or Thursday ? What have I done ?” Let me tell you why I don’t like you, Monday. You sneak up on people, for starters. Friday usually drops around by my work on … well … Friday … and I’m always happy to see him. More often than not he’ll bring a six pack of beer or some hard spirits, or he’ll take me and Lisa out on the town later in the evening to hang out with our mutual friends. Everyone likes Friday, as I’m sure you know. We usually spend the next day with Saturday, and she’s a pretty cool chick too. Granted – she’ll often insist we spend some time together doing chores in the morning or early afternoon, and she’ll sometimes bring a hangover with her to the apartment depending on how drunk Friday managed to get us the night before. Mostly though, she’s all about doing fun things like barbeques, retail therapy, reading your favourite books while lying around on the couch in your jammies, and threesomes in the bedroom with yourself, your fiancé, and Saturday. If she’s feeling frisky, she’ll also more often than not manage to get Lisa and I in the mood for some cocktails at home later in the evening, or maybe another night out on the town.

We usually spend the last day of the weekend hanging out with Sunday. I must admit I feel a bit sorry for poor old Sunday. Of the weekend triplets, I often feel like she gets the the shitty end of the stick. Y’see, she has a lot of things in common with her sister. However after spending a few days with her party siblings, by the time Sunday drops in we often find we don’t have a lot of energy left. Therefore she usually ends up just lazing around at home with us, though we sometimes take her to movies or to visit Lisa’s relatives, and we keep promising we’ll take her out to Sounds on Sunday @ the Greenwood (and I used to take her there on my own now and then, before I met Lisa). All the same, we love Sunday as much as her two siblings. Which is where you come in Monday.

You see good buddy, all the other days of the week have the common decency to respect the established visitation schedule. Not you though – oh no. We’ll be chilling out with Sunday on the couch, watching Law & Order or some Charmed DVD’s (she’s a bit of TV addict, Sunday is), when you’ll pop up with a thought in my head about the month-end paperwork we need to work through together, come the start of the working week. Lisa and I might even be in the bedroom with Sunday, giving eachother back-rubs and working up to the same kind of threesome we often have with Saturday, when you’ll butt in to say “Hello” and remind my fiancé how tired she is, and how much stuff she’s going to have to do for her boss this week. End result – Sunday and I end up frustrated, while you skulk off sniggering and rubbing your hands in anticipation of ruining our day again tommorrow.

This brings me to another reason no-one likes you, Monday. Nine times out of ten, whenever you come around you bring the start of the working week with you. Sure – you make a token effort every year to drop around once or twice on a public holiday or to work yourself in to our annual leave schedules, but it’s just too little too late ! I know, I know; Tuesday and Wednesday tend to bring work with ’em too, as does Thursday. Even Friday, bless his soul, tends to want at least some work done before we get down to the usual hijinks – but we all know he doesn’t really give a shit and just wants to party with the rest of us. Granted Tuesday is a bit like you, but by the time he comes around we’re usually starting to find our feet again in the work week – and he never pops up early while you’re around to remind us of the things we’ll have to do with him the next day. Doubtless because he knows the kind of shit you invariably tend to put us through, Monday.

Wednesday at least in my opinion, is just the most inoffensive one of the lot of you. She might not be very pretty, but she’s certainly not ugly either. She’ll bring some work with her, but it’s never the armload you and Tuesday usually dump on our desks. Usually in fact, it’s just following on from what you two have already instigated. We even used to go out with Wednesday in the evenings to Trivia @ PJ’s in Parramatta, so she’s definitely not all bad. I know you tried to take over that for a while and had us going along with you to Triv @ The Union in North Sydney instead; but it’s just not the same Monday – I only really enjoy it when I forget you’re there, whereas I never had that problem with Wednesday.

Thursday often makes me work fairly hard too in a last-ditch flurry of effort before my lazy-arse mate Friday drops around again, but I never hold that against him because I know the end of the week is in sight. When I met Lisa, she also showed me a side to Thursday that I never suspected he had – an affinity for singing karaoke @ Petersham. Prior to that, Thursday and I had a long history of going out together to Greenwood (in my latter singledom), Castle Hill Tavern (in my late teens), and late-night shopping together with my folks (when I was wee lad) – so I guess I’ve always had a soft-spot for Thursday despite his minor flaws. You on the other hand Monday, are just a shit.

As I’ve said already, you always bring along a truckload of work for us and the other days to get through. More often than not, this is work that you’ve already hinted at while we were trying to spend some quality time with Sunday. If we’ve had a particularly good time with the weekend triplets, you’ll always bring a mother of a hangover too. Forget the hangovers Saturday or Sunday very occasionally have to bring along with many apologies. You derive great pleasure from your hangovers, don’t you ? You sit there in Friday’s workshop, polishing up those babies like great big gleaming turds, with all the dilligence our pal Friday reserves for brewing up some good old fashioned fun-times. Then when they’re ready, all hard and gleaming, you’ll drop by with your armload of work and your smarmy “look at me, I’m the start of the work-week” grin, and before we know it *BLAM*

“I have the worst hangover in history, it’s raining again, and the boss just told me I have three years worth of statistics to process for this client by the end of the week. Goddamn … Monday you muthafucka, how you doin ?”

There you have it. In a nutshell Monday, these are the reasons that I don’t like you, and neither does the majority of the human race. What can you do about it ? To be honest, I’m not sure. Not much, probably. I know you’ve tried various tricks over the years to get people to like you more. You’ve tried scheduling better TV shows when you’re around, like Supernatural (currently) or The Practice (when I still used to watch it). You know though, that when we’re sitting around on the couch watching those together, I’m still secretly wishing you were one of the other days, don’t you ? Christ man, you can’t even get that completely right … because that sexy vixen Sunday is the one who manages to snag Big Brother eviction night every year, while you can only ever manage to score nominations. You’ve tried the Trivia Night thing but I’ve already touched on that earlier, and you just don’t do it like Wednesday does.

You even tried dragging Lisa and I along to salsa dancing classes for a while … but you know they were just painful, right ? We’ve gone salsa dancing with Friday at the Spanish Club a number of times with no prior classes at all (at least on my part), and that’s always been fun ! You and your obsession with “work, work, work” on the other hand, took the fun right out of the whole experience, and had us worrying about getting the foot-work ‘right’ and remembering 100 extraneous ‘moves’ that no-one does in practice. Thanks Monday – another great freakin’ job well done !

I think perhaps the best solution for all concerned would be for you to just stop coming around. We don’t want to see you anymore. Send Friday twice a week instead. Or perhaps tell Sunday she can come visit us again. At least that way I wouldn’t feel so bad about being tired when she’s around. But don’t show your ugly face at our place anymore Monday, because you aren’t welcome !!!

Regards,

Disappearing Boy Esq.

Listening To: Thankyou : Duran Duran

Hi there loyal readers – I must apologise for lack of updates recently. I’ve been kept fairly busy at work this month (started a new role – same pay though which sucks), so haven’t had the same amount of time I did previously to devote to regular updates or even reading other peoples blogs. Not sure how we’ll remedy the situation, but in the meantime here’s yet another look at the amusing world of search phrases other people are using to find the site this month …

Gianna Pattison Fans
b05 gianna images
bb gianna
bb gianna desktop wallpapers
big brother gianna
big brother gianna pictures
big brother’s gianna
big brother uncut gianna
big brothers gianna pictures
bigbrother gianna pictures
fŮcking gianna
gianna
gianna – big brother
gianna bb
gianna bb images
gianna bb pics
gianna bb05 australia picture
gianna bb05 photos
gianna bb05 pictures
gianna bb05 uncut
gianna bb05 uncut pics
gianna big
gianna big brother
gianna big brother pictures
gianna big brother sexy pictures
gianna brother pics
gianna from bb
gianna from bb pictures
gianna from bb wallpaper
gianna from big brother
gianna of adelaide
gianna photo big brother christmas adelaide
gianna pics bb
gianna pictures
giannas
giannas name big brother
origin energy gianna
origin energy xmas party 2004 pics gianna
photos of gianna from bb05
pictures of gianna
pictures of gianna [big brother]
pictures of gianna from bb

Hoo boy ! Ever since I wrote a bit of a rant a few posts ago sticking up for the pint-sized princess from Adelaide, it seems like the biggest number of my hits have come from desperate dickheads wanting pictures of the BB05 evictee. Sorry guys – I don’t have any nude photos of GG, and even if I didn’t I wouldn’t be posting ’em. Why don’t you go out and buy Ralph or something, if you’re that desperate ? I’ll post ONE of the Origin Energy Xmas Party shots I got from elsewhere off the web here … but that’s it ! Enough already with the Gianna thing, kapish ?!

Click for larger image …

 

General BB05 Fans
bb uncut
bb uncut images
bb uncut pics
bb05
bb05 australia audition tapes
bb05 contestants
bb05 glenn
bb05 housemates
bb05 kate real name
bb05 michelle
bb05 sex
bb05 tim
bb05 uncut
bb05 uncut images
bb05 uncut nude movie
bb05 uncut pics
christie bb05
glenn bb05
glenn bb05 pictures
glenn big brother racist
glenn of bb05
gretle big brother profile
hot dogs bb05
hotdogs – real name bb05
hotdogs big brother real name
hotdogs real name bigbrother
kate bb05
michelle bb05
pictures of housemates bb05
tim bb05
tim fans bb05
tim off bb05
uncut bb

For some reason, it seems a lot of the BB05 crowd that come to my site want the nudie pics of their favourite housemates which I just don’t have ! Sod knows I wish I did … I could probably make a mint, like the guys from those websites and magazines which carry Michelle’s (‘Harley’) erotic pre-BB photos must be making. Alas no, you’ll just find occasional references to my watching the show, chants of “Go Tim, Go !”, and discussions taking the piss out of evictees like Glenn & Dean. Sorry …

More Porn & ‘Naughty Celeb’ Addicts
18 years small teen hardcore
bella and evan
big arse girl photos
big ass chicks
big ass photos
busty aussie celebrity
celebrity boys spanked
celebrity shags
country boy pics
david hasslehoff emails
dieter brummer home and away
evan and bella
felching
girls pissin
illsa ss
julie delphie
mark phillipousis girlfriend
mark phillipousis paris hilton
pissin drinking
www.big shags.com

I swear … I don’t run a prØn site … so why do people visit this blog hoping for pictures of the above variety ? It particularly disturbs me that sick little puppies looking for golden shower or felching pics are somehow ending up at my blog. Does Google hate me just because I stopped hosting on Blogger ?

Desperate, Horny Singles
bondi oil babe
dating virgin filipinas
dating while pre-op
desperate housewives looking for guys
horny single st leonards
housewives feeling trapped
malaysian hottie
meeting backpackers for sex
people pashing
perth tiny bikinis beach
pissing housewives
single wog female
virgin girl still in her 20’s

Hahaha ! I feel kinda sorry for the unfortunate punter looking for a “single wog female” or “virgin girl still in her 20’s” who ends up at TROYL instead. Maybe I should start a cam-site and charge them $21.95 a month to see my (photoshopped) boobies ? 😉 I’m not sure what a “bondi oil babe” is …

Penile Obssessives
37!!! my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!!!
cock accident
dick humour
my black cock blog

As I’ve said before and I’ll say again, “there’s nothin like a dose of big, black cock !”. Pity you won’t find it on my blog, eh ? ;P A special shout out also to the person who looked for “norgs” and came across DB’s blatherings hehe

Alcoholics & Other Miscreants
absynthe
how much absinthe gets you drunk?
life stories of methamphetamines
merrivale group
slipp inn
st leonards tavern
three wise monkeys tattoo

How much absinthe gets you drunk indeed ! Also, I reckon the peeps getting three wise monkeys tattoos are the same ones looking for backpacker sex. Think about it …

Plain Weird
ex-boyfriend blogs
heterosexal
lateness and puberty
port stephens sand dunes murdered bodies
solariums in castle hill

I’m glad a google search for “heterosexal” brings up TROYL. It would be even better if I came up under heterosexual, but I guess beggers can’t be choosers. As for the murdered bodies person … hmm … I hope this isn’t someone who’s buried a couple of corpses somewhere in Port Stephens, and is checking to see if his/her foul play has come to light. If that’s the case … I know nothing … I SWEAR. Even if it isn’t, I still know nothing hehe

And finally –

People That Make You Go “Awwwwww”
proud of your man and relationship
i will save a dance for you for the rest of my life

These ones give me a warm fuzzy feeling. All together now … “awwwwwww”

That’s it for this month’s search popular search phrases gang. There’s other random ones about Hotels, IG’s blog, Weggs blog and of course Wes Boone, but for the sake of brevity we’ll just go with the sampling above.

Peace out !