The Rest of Your Life (v3.0)

12. You dig Kellie Osbourne’s Moog-inspired synth tattoo. 

11. You read the Sound on Sound back-catalogue of hardware reviews almost obsessively, especially whenever a particularly sweet looking synth comes up on Ebay.   

10. The top favourites in your browser include VintageSynth, the Harmony Central user reviews, and the Musical Instruments > Professional Audio & DJ Gear > Synthesisers category on Ebay.

9. Instead of subscribing to Yahoo groups involving celebrity porn like the rest of humanity, your subsriptions include groups like “Synth Programming”, “Alpha Juno & MKS-80″ and “Polyphony for the Masses”

8. You get involved in passionate debates on the InTheMix forums about the relative merits of ‘true’ analogue vs VA hardware.

7. Not only can you wax eloquently about extended ADSR envelopes, aftertouch and oscillator pitch drift in said arguments, but you actually know what the terms you’re bandying about mean.

6. Although you live in a relatively small two bedroom apartment, and wouldn’t really know how to operate it properly, you occasionally have dreams about breaking into Jack Dangers’ house to steal his Synthi 100.  

5. You find yourself listening to early 80′s records by bands like Depeche Mode & Ultravox, and thinking “hmm yeah, I think that’s preset 32 on my Poly 800″ or “Oberheim OB-X solo - I like it !”.

4. Your partner complains that you sometimes wake her up, mumbling things in your sleep like “Yes, but the real question is – does it have any LFO’s ?”, and “If you sign it Mr.Moog, I promise I’ll blow you right here !”.

3. You abuse the arpeggiator on your synth to make ringtones for your mobile phone, having graduated from downloading the MP3 patch demos of obscure 80′s keyboards on Sealed’s page for said purpose.

2. When you take your fiance overseas to see your homeland for the first time, you take time out from visiting historic sites and family, to drag her around a bunch of dodgey musical instrument stores, trying to find the elusive “too good to be true, they’re Eastern European and too niave to realise what they’ve got” synth deal.

1. When you finally do get married, and score yourself some cash in the process, not only do you buy whitegoods for the both of you to use, you also blow a good chunk of it on a new synth, having compared potential purchase candidates for literally months on end beforehand

Getting married in two days … a little jittery

Hey Gang,

Some VERY exciting news to report ! I found out on Friday, that a short film I made a few weeks ago has been short-listed for Sony Tropfest 2007 ! W00t ! Now of course, a short-listing doesn’t necessarily guarantee me a share of the prizes, general adulation, and short-film groupies which the 16 Tropfest finalists enjoy, but it does guarantee AT LEAST a screening in the ‘Best of the Rest’ program, and limited national + international distribution. So I’m VERY stoked, to say the least.

Now for those in the know, it’s basically a new animated short featuring Frank & George, the two characters you’ve come to know and love from our ostensibly weekly (even though I’ve been to lazy to put up a new one over the Silly Season) serial Juiced. So if you haven’t checked out the first two episodes already, I suggest you have a bit of a squiz now – one way or another, I think you’ll all be seeing more of Frank & George over the coming year

You know, I can’t be arsed doing my usual “quote of the day” and “current horn factor” bullshit before the post proper today … and that is perhaps indicative of how I feel about this blog in general. I’m trying to be honest here, kids. Part of it I think is to do with the perenially shitty Sydney weather at the moment. If anyone needs confirmation about the reality of climate change, there it is staring us all in the face. It’s supposed to be summer in Australia at this time of year. A time for Christmas Day barbeques on the beach, and sweltering forty degree heat. Instead, it keeps f*cken raining every other day ! My boss put it best a few days ago when he said “What’s up with this bloody weather ? I might as well have stayed in f*cking England !”

It’s not that I’ve lost the creative spark, either. I’ve been putting some serious time in @ the home studio lately, cranking out new tunes. I’ve animated two episodes of Juiced (my ‘weekly’ flash serial), with another eight or so scripted and ready to go. I’ve started trying to write a new novel, and I’m actually planning to finish this one (unlike all the previous ones gathering dust in the proverbial bottom drawer). I got a shiny new digital video camera (go Mini-DV, f*ck that DVD-Cam arseshat !) for Christmas from my parents, and already have a few (non-porn) ideas that I’m itching to film once I sort myself out a copy of Sony Vegas + DVD.

I’m just not feeling particularly inspired to blog these days. Is it something in the air ? My best friend stopped blogging a while ago now, with the intention of starting up a quasi-portal site instead. That’s not a bad idea … as Baz from Random Rant tells me, it’s good to have at least a loosely ‘themed’ site rather than a personal weblog per-se, because that way you can often score ‘freebies’ from people like Warner Brothers to review, give away to readers etc. Sure … a bunch of bloggers recently scored free laptops courtesy of Microsoft, but I can’t help but feel that a certain ‘buzz’ is slowly departing the blogosphere, and I feel it draining out of myself as well.

Apart from my best friend, my fiance is no longer actively blogging (just posting occasional snippets to her myspace page), 3 other people who used to be on my blog-roll have disappeared off the face of the ‘net, and one long-time blogger acquaintence pulled his blog offline to give himself the possibility of reusing old material for his new (paid) writing gig on behalf of Newscorp.

As for TROYL itself, the only comments I seem to get these days are from a small handful of loyal offline friends, and a self-confessed fame-whore (I’m looking at you here, Steph). Whilst I certainly appreciate those of you who are still persevering with this blog and my sporadic update policy, I haven’t the time or patience to whore TROYL out to new readers via mass commenting the blogosphere as I did when I first started. All of which means my comment fields aren’t likely to get any fuller. I’m not single anymore, so I have no further ‘dating horror story’ material to draw on, except for the increasingly distant past. I’m depressingly sober most of the time these days, so the amusing drinking anecdotes aren’t there to draw on anymore. I’m happy at my job, so I have no reason to bitch about work. Apart from the incessant incursions of assorted creepie-crawlies, I love our new apartment, so I can’t even bitch about my living conditions.

All in all, I think the ‘problem’ is I’m ‘suffering’ from a general level of contentment. This is of course a very good thing in terms of my personal life, but not so good in terms of The Rest of Your Life (blog). At the very least, I reckon updates are going to get even more sporadic here, and I’ll have to think about an overhaul of the site. It’s fairly likely I’ll be starting up one (or more) new sites in the near future too (probably after my wedding next month), steering away from the ‘blog’ formula. Given my surname will be changing post-wedding, I’m unlikely to keep using this domain name as my main port of call as well. I’ll hang on to it of course – until I die or the ‘net goes down permanently – whichever comes first I suppose – to ward off ’cyber-squatters’ – but I’ll set up redirects and start pimping myself out at a new cyber street-corner sooner or later.

There you have it folks … please do let me know what you think of all this, and don’t say you haven’t been warned

Listening To: Bohemian Rap : The Marginal Profits (Magnatune)

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
Nealio Bush = Gollum
Nealio IRAQ MY PRECIOUSSS
Nealio NO WE HATES IT
SuperMoogle They stole it from uss, preciousss …THE WMDS…

Hi All, here’s the next thrilling update to my weekly humour serial – “Juiced”.

Click on the image below it to view the episode, or “save as” to download an watch offline (don’t worry, it’s only 17kb in size or thereabout).

COMMENTS WOULD BE APPRECIATED THIS TIME GANG !!!

Listening To: Electroluv : Mr.Gelatine (Magnatune)

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
CMadz I have myspace so I can keep in touch with certain friends …
f8kt1tZ nigga, you need 2get yo’self some new friends !

Thanks to the magic of Sanrio Corp & Fender U.S.A, I know what I want for Xmas !!! Forget your Kirk Hammet signature edition B.C Rich Walocks, your Joe Satriani custom Ibanez Strats, even your increasingly rare Saul Hudson (Slash) signature edition Gibson Les Pauls. Walking past Bondi Inter-Music (normally a shop for serious musicians), I saw one of these babies in the window, and knew a new legend in high-demand collector guitars had been born. Mark my words people … in five or ten years time, these things are going to be worth an absolute MINT !!! ;-) 

It kills me Just to clarify, this isn’t some cheap ‘novelty’ guitar either – it’s a fully working, ‘proper’ stratocaster from Fender (Squire), albeit in a “smaller size for younger players”. Now I know the guys at Sanrio have been trying to expand the (evil) Hello Kitty empire of late. We actually have a Hello Kitty toasted sandwich maker at home (for sheer kitsch value), and have been also tempted to buy the Hello Kitty alarm clock & television, among other things. A Hello Kitty Strat though ? That’s just …. tres bizzarro !

Was the product manager at Fender smoking crack when he agreed to this unholy partnership ? For that matter, was the purchasing guy at Inter-Music smoking a similar bag of crack when they decided (a) to not only carry these things, but (b) to give them pride of place in the display window displacing various Roland Grooveboxes & Korg Electribes ? I know it’s coming up to Christmas, but honestly these things should be sitting in a dusty corner of the store somewhere, not taking up valuable display space near the front door, where they’re likely to cause injury to serious musicians who see them and double over in paroxysms of laughter ?

 

To be honest, I’m not even sure if these things are targetted at boys or girls. I mean the pink colour, and the Hello Kitty motif would make you think it’s aimed squarly at girls. But then if you look at the kid on the packaging, it could conceivably be a pre-pubescent Hanson-esque looking boy. Granted, you can’t see all that in too much detail on the box shot above, but just trust me on this one.

You’d think it would all end there gang, but it doesn’t ! I noticed something else looking at the box-shots just now, which I missed when I was photographing it with my phone in the window. There’s actually a website – www.fenderhellokitty.com 

From looking at said site, it would seem the version of the Hello Kitty Strat we have here in the Asia-Pacific region is actually a bit watered down, in terms of its Kitty branding. The American version of the strat appears to have a HUGE facsmilie of Kitty’s noggin taking up most of the body of the guitar, whereas the one I saw in the shop only has the smaller logo (as found on our toastie maker). Oh … and yes gang … from the website I’ve also discovered there’s a companion Badtz-Maru bass guitar as well - perfect for those wanting more low-end out of their Sanrio-powered sound.

Rrrrrrrawk on, boys and girls

 

Listening To: Forever Soul : Blackberry Jam (Spyral Records)

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
SMk how would i check a mysql database to see if a table exists ?
JenuWhine put down a table cloth, if it doesn’t turn into a rug -
JenuWhine then it exists !

Here’s something new for you gang … I’m decided to try my hand at creating a regular little Flash-animated web serial I call “Juiced”. Think 8-bit graphics, gamer-humour, non-sequiters and masses of pop-culture references. Naturally we’ll be leading up to some of those as the serial progresses (I’ve already got 10 episodes scripted, now it’s just a matter of animating them and putting ‘em up). Will also particularly (but not exclusively) appeal to those of you out there who remember a funky little early 80′s arcade game named “Joust”. I loved that game … wasted many happy hours of my youth playing that outside the milk bar near Metella Road !

Here’s a quick screen-grab – click on it to go to the animation, or “save as” to download an watch offline (don’t worry, it’s only 17kb in size or thereabout).

Let me know what you all think, and feel free to pass on to your friends

Listening To: Female Vocalism : Conscious Daughters (Guerrilla Funk)

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
ZombieKing The best way to get rid of a client with dial-up -
ZombieKing Tell them to install SP2 and call back

Jeezus, kids ! It looks like BB Australia are trying to keep a low profile this year.

http://bigbrother.com.au/

Auditions are already going on for BB07 in Sydney as we speak ! They’re at the Hordern Pavilion, Moore Park (guess Sydney Uni finally got sick of BB-wannabe-fucktards) this year, which is just a hop, skip and a jump from our apartment really ! I’ve already missed one day of auditions (yesterday, November 20th), not likely to go today either (21st), and the last day to audition here in Sydney is tommorrow the 22nd of November.

Hmmm … should I or shouldn’t I ? It’s likely to cut into our wedding plans again if IG or myself were to get on the show, although it’s also likely to be the last series I reckon (although Dreamworld has extended their contract with Endemol for the BB House until 2009). Decisions, decisions ….

Waddayathink gang ?

AUDITIONS UPDATE (21/11/06):

Well gang, I just skived off @ lunch from work to have a bit of a sticky beak at the Sydney auditions in Moore Park. Didn’t actually do the deed myself (still debating the wisdom or lack thereof of doing that), but in a world exclusive (even beating BigBrother Chaos & Behind Big Brother) I can give you a heads up on this year’s audition process from a nameless punter who’d braved it (and got themselves through to the next round – the email application – in the bargain).

Essentially my source (if they’re to be believed) says - it’s pretty much the same as last year. You hand over your prefilled application forms, form groups of about 10 or 12 people and the groups will get into circles. Each circle of people will have a ‘watcher’ from the production company, who will then ask you to perform a number of simple tasks such as forming a ‘flesh pyramid’ (to assess who likes to charge in a group heirarchy, who is good at following orders etc). The circle will then be asked a number of questions such as “Who here has been arrested before ?”. Applicants whose answer is in the affirmative stay standing, while the others sit down. The applicants who are left standing are then given the opportunity to provide an in-depth answer to the question that was asked.

Eventually after a number of these questions, applicants who are successful are provided with login details to submit a detailed email application within 72 hours, and the session concludes for that group.

So that in nutshell is the first stage of the BB07 audition process – remember, you heard it here first ! 

One other tip from me – I went there during my lunch hour, just after 1pm – and there was hardly anyone there at this ‘late’ hour – so a word to the wise – if you want an easier time of getting in than the inevitable 9am rush (especially given overnight camping is discouraged this year), go in @ around lunch time and you’ll be laughing. See you there tommorrow gang (maybe ….)

Listening To: Servico Publico : Valete (Footmovin’ Records)

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
Panzurfaust I love stupid ass people.
Cade You’re so damn conceited.

Today we’re going to discuss what some people have called “a (wallet) draining, antisocial addiction, which effects many people at some stage of their lives”.  It’s especially prevelant among guys and girls in my own age group i.e. around the mid to late twenties. That’s right gang, I’m talking about the very same thing Chuck Palahniuk discusses in some length via the characters of Cornelius & Tyler in Fight Club. The so-called “IKEA Nesting Instinct”

Personally, I don’t really understand the problem the ‘ole Chuckster has with this supposed addiction. Before I finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, I used to go out and easily blow $150 on alcohol, cover charges and taxi-fare in one night going out. Now, I blow the same amount of money in one afternoon buying a small dining table and chairs for our apartment.

Is this so bad ? Granted, it means I’m not going out and getting fucked up as often as I used to. Actually I’m not going out and getting fucked up at all anymore, coz I’m trying to save for our wedding as well … but … ummmm … that’s not a problem, riiiight ? I mean the Ikea purchases aren’t a catalyst for the ‘mellowing out’, they’re merely a consequence of it, and mellowing out is a good thing, isn’t it ? Plus … you know … we needed furniture after moving apartments.

I actually used to go to IKEA with my parents a fair bit when I was younger, and we were struggling migrants that had recently moved to Australia. Granted back then (in the 80′s) the furniture you’d get from IKEA wasn’t just cheap, the general build quality was a bit on the nasty side as well. I didn’t realise that until a few years later though, and the Seven Hills store we used to go to had a good play area for kids, so going furniture shopping was always a bit of an adventure for me

Truth be told, I did go off the furniture from there for a few years during my teen years, as the cupboards and other things my dad had put together (or in many cases I’d put together, coz dad was never much of a handyman) in the early years started to weather and show their age. The 80′s IKEA furniture had a particularly nasty habit of losing it’s ‘foil’ finishes, which would peel off and/or dent around the edges, plus the drawers would often start warping. However, my faith started to become redeemed when I went to live in Sweden (the birthplace of IKEA - for the ‘late bloomers’ among you) for a year in ’97-’98 and saw the great stuff they had there.

Nonetheless it took a few more years for the quality range from there to make it out here … in the interim I made do with incredibly nasty (but incredibly cheap) furniture from Op-Shops and the occasional Freedom hand-me-down or upscale retailer Xmas/Birthday present from my folks. Successive moves and flat-shares saw my furniture needs anyway being stripped down to what would fit in one bedroom, until my fiance and I finally moved to this new apartment, free of our old flatmate (whose furniture dominated all the ‘common areas’ in our old place) and ready to decorate just for the two of us.

We knew we’d need furniture, and given the need to save for the wedding, we thought we’d check out IKEA together, and I must say I was very pleasantly surprised. Build quality has gone up, and most of the range I remember from Sweden has made it over her now. So now we’ve got a nice ‘Beech Effect’ coffee table, a funky dining table which seats 4, a couple of contemporary (and comfy) chairs to go with the table, a set of stylish placemats & coasters, a groovy/unconventional dark red peanut-shaped study desk, a set of wire drawers also in red to complement said desk, a shoe-rack (OK … it’s from Howards Storage World … but it’s part and parcel of the same instinct I think) … all after only a few trips.

Now we just need some outdoor furniture for the balcony, perhaps some new cutlery coz our current set is looking a bit mismatched, a couple of prints for the study until one of us can be arsed doing some new paintings, perhaps a new couch as we’ve both got couches in storage which are too big …. hmmm …. maybe Chuck’s got a small point somewhere ….

Listening To: Symbols : KMFDM

Current Horn Factor :

Quote of The Day
andyg721 i think it was on CNN
andyg721 Condoleeza Rice went to Asia
andyg721 the headline was RICE IN ASIA

From Wikipedia – “White Rose (German: die Weiße Rose) was a World War II non-violent resistance group in Germany famous for a leaflet campaign in which they called for active opposition to the Nazi regime.” It initially consisted of five Munich University students in their early twenties – Sophie and Hans Scholl, Christoph Probst, Alexander Schmorell and Willi Graf. As a result of writing and distributing a series of political pamphlets between June 1942 and February 1943 which called for an end to the Nazi atrocities of that conflict and the active resistance of the German people, they along with Professor Kurt Haber (a later member that helped in the drafting of the final two pamphlets) were arrested and tried by the Gestapo, and ultimately executed by the Third Reich. 

“So what does all this have to do with the price of tea in China”, I hear you ask ?

In February 2005, a movie about Sophie Scholl’s last days, Sophie Scholl – Die letzten Tage (Sophie Scholl: The Final Days), featuring actress Julia Jentsch as Sophie, was released. Drawing on interviews with survivors and transcripts that had remained hidden in East German archives until 1990, it was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film in January 2006. Two other previously released films have also dealt with the tragic story of this remarkable group of young people.

The story of the Scholls, and the White Rose movement as a whole, serves as an important and poignant inspiration in our contemporary context. This group of idealistic young people spoke out, in spite of the war their country was embroiled in. We’re talking the real blood and guts conflict of WWII, not the so-called ‘War on Terror’ that Bush et al. see fit to define as a war when it suits them, and as a ‘police action’ when it doesn’t. They elected to follow their consciences, despite the prevailing ‘popular opinion’ in Germany at the time, which either held with the abhorrant policies & ideology of the Nazi regime outright, or simply refused to acknowledge the more barbaric implications of said policies for the selfish sake of economic prosperity.

The White Rose spoke out against the war, and their nations involvement in it despite the obvious danger to themselves of this action. Indeed in the end this courageous group paid the ultimate price for daring to believe in concepts such as “Human Rights”, and for speaking out against the actions their government was involved in, and which we – the rest of world – ultimately (rightly) judged as war-crimes.

Hearing the neverending stream of bad news from Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo and other ‘hot zones’ in the so-called ‘War On Terror’ (it’s telling, isn’t it, that this Neo-Con catchphrase can be abbreviated to WOT ? ), you can’t help but wonder what the members of The White Rose would have to say about it all. My bet is they wouldn’t be huge fans of America’s, Australia’s or the UK’s current administrations, and their aggressive foreign policies. It’s also a dead-cert they would also be strongly opposed to the ongoing suppression of debate that many sections of the international media establishment, the United States military, and all the governments involved continue to try and exert with regards to human rights abuses in the context of the WOT?.

The majority of ‘regular’ people have only a vague understanding of the Geneva Protocols on Human Rights (and ancillery treaties + protocols) established as a direct result of World War Two and the so-called ‘Nuremberg Trials‘. It’s important to note however, that the United States of America and the United Kingdom were two of the major players actually involved in the suggestion and drafting of these principals of human and State conduct at the time. They drafted these resolutions in the hope that the kinds of atrocities perpetrated by the Nazis during WWII could never again be repeated.

It’s ironic then that as a human being living in a 21st Century Western society, you can’t help but worry about the direction that the USA, UK and our very own Australian governments seem to be taking us in their pursuit of the perceived ‘terrorist threat’. I read a particularly disturbing report online yesterday by Karen Parker, president of the Association of Humanitarian Lawyers, based in San Francisco. 

Full text of the document can be found here. With the rather unedifying title of “War Crimes Committed by the United States in Iraq and Mechanisms for Accountability”, it nonetheless makes sobering reading – regardless of your views on the justification for going to war in Iraq in the first place.